Brother // l.h.

• Twelve •

We locked the door and walked out of the driveway. Liam's house was the closest to mine out of all the One Direction Boys. It was literally just four or five houses further down the road, which was an advantage for me. Whenever I was bored and the boys were in London,too, meet ups would usually take place at Liam's house, so I could just walk and didn't have to travel through the half of the city, even though Liam would always offer me a ride then.

Soon we were standing on Liam's front porch and rang the bell. We heard some shifting from the inside and soon the lock clicked and the door knob turned.
A smiling Liam stood in front of the three of us.
"Hello there, come in." Liam said as he took a step back and gestured inside. The boys walked in first and shook his hand. When I held out my hand for him to shake he denied it with a shaking head.
"No-uh, I haven't seen you in a few months, you get a hug in contrast to my mates." He smiled as he offered me a hug with his arms already spread open. "You're such a gentleman." I laughed and gladly took his offer.
I followed Niall and Harry into the living room and sat down next to Niall on a huge couch.
"So what brings you guys around?" Liam asked as he smashed himself into the seat next to Harry.
"Well we didn't know what to do and so we'd figured we come over and visit you?" Harry answered and I hummed in agreement.
"Good to hear. So Em what's up with you lately?" Liam asked me patient. "What do you mean?" I replied to his question.
"Any news I need to know, new songs, maybe a boyfriend?" He asked wiggling his eyesbrows and I let out a laugh.

"Okay so yeah, I do have a new song and I am currently working on a new album and well tours still going really good." I answered, hoping he wouldn't repeat the boyfriend question.
Liam was the one I would and could always talk to if something was going on in my love life, but with Harry sitting in the round with us here today, I'd rather not share with Liam that I may have feeling for his mate.

"Sounds great. Hopefully you'll release it soon!" Liam went on and seemed to get that I didn't want to talk about a boyfriend right now.
In the corner of my eye I could see that Harry was eyeing me carefully and nervously from head to toe. When I finally found the courage to look at him he immidiately looked in a different direction and got red. What was that about?
Liam and Niall seemed to notice the somehow awkward situation and both looked at me awaiting. I shrugged, signaling them I didn't know either.
"Anyways, what do you wanna do?" Liam shrugged the topic off.

"How about just hang out and order pizza?" Niall siggested and I answered "Yes." eagerly. Harry and Liam also nodded in agreement.

"Same Pizza as always guys?" Harry asked and pulled his phone out of his pocket and stood up walking out of the room. "Sure." I answered and Harry smiled before walking out of the door.

"Okay what the hell was that about a few seconds ago?" Niall and Liam both turned to me, whispering. "You mean that with Harry? I don't know, we already had a really awkward situation yesterday." I answered their question.
"We'll talk about it tonight Em, I'll come over after diner." Liam said and sat down at the spot he sat before just a second before Harry walked in again.

"Pizza will be here in 20." Harry answered smoothly and let himself fall back onto the couch. "Great!" Niall answered. "Em, what I already been wanting to ask you yesterday...how does all the secret stuff work out? Still safe?" Niall asked and I grimassed.
"More or less safe. So the boys surprised me in school and it was pretty tensioned there, because Ashton almost spilled everything by accident." I answered, exhaling loudly in the process.
"Accidently? Ashton. Are you kidding me? He would never do something like that on accident, but only on purpose." Niall answered, rolling his eyes.

"Maybe he is upset because of me." I shrugged and the boys all looked at me weirdly. "Why would he be upset because of you? You've never done anything bad to anyone." Liam asked in confusion.
"I don't want to talk about it okay?" I said barely and ashamed above a whisper. "Wow that bad?" Harry bored. "Actually it feels like that, yeah." I said, the sick feeling in my stomach present again.
"Listen if you wanna talk about it.." Harry said but I cut him off. "I don't want to okay? Please stop asking questions." I almost yelled at him.
"Alright I'm sorry." Harry apologized and put his hands up in defence while the other two boys just watched us.
"I'm sorry , I didn't mean to get loud, it's just a sensitive topic I don't want to talk about." I said looking at Harry, who's eyes softened as he listened to my apology.
My eyes met Liam's and I saw him mouthing a 'later' towards me.

"Anyways, to come back up with the secret topic: I actually think about revealing everything." I said and the room was silent in less than a second. Tension filled the room and the boys all watched me with wide eyes.
"You what?" Niall asked from beside me.
"Spill everything." I replied shortly, a big lump forming in my throat. These three boys were the first one's I talked to about it after I talked with Michael.

"But why? I mean you were so happy with everything being a secret?" Liam went on and I nodded as I bite back the tears.
"Actually.." I started a sentence and thought about how to explain it to them. "I..it's just it gets harder to keep with every day that passes and I feel so horrible for not telling my friends back in Germany and it would just make everything so much easier for me. At least that is what I think." I rambled on, only earning confused stares from the boys and what felt like a silent treatment. "Please just say something." I said as a tear managed to slide down my cheek. "Hey, hey princess, don't cry." Niall said and pulled me into his chest. "It's fine, ssshh." He tried to calm me down.

"What made you think about all of this so recent?" Liam asked calmly. "Well first the thing with Ashton in school and then the fact that next weekend they might find out themselves." I tried to explain myself, failing completely.
I sighed. "See, me and also Luke and the boys are each having a concert next weekend in Germany and my friends are going to both concerts. And  I wanted to perform on stage with the boys the whole concert but they will find out, I know it." I said, my voice shaking really bad.

"Hey, just because they're going to the concerts doesn't mean they will find out. And even if, they are your best friends Emily, they would never share your secrets." Niall said, still holding me in his arms. "I don't know. I feel lile if I share it with everyone I will feel free and be able to freely talk about anything. But otherwise I would lose my privatsphere." I tried to weigh the arguments for and against it.

"I mean you all know who I really am. You know I am Emily Hemmings, even when I'm not dressed up so people don't see what I actually look like. Everyone who was at Luke's party yesterday knows, how comes they don't share?" I ask the three boys who were all in deep thoughts.

"To be honest that is a good question. I guess it is because they are all living in the public, like we do, do they know the struggle and they probably respect the way you handle everything." Harry tried to explain and I was literally impressed by his answer.
"You are probably right, only that this 'handling everything' gives me a mental breakdown every second day. I just can't stand this any longer." I said and the boys nodded understanding.

"Emily, if you feel better, by laying everything open and sharing your secret with the world, then do it." Liam adviced me. "After all you are ready for it, I can see that and you know, whatever happens...You have me, Harry, Niall, Luke, Michael and all the others and we love you and support you no matter what." Liam said as he pats my back.

"Thank you Liam." I said smiling and I relaxed in Nialls arms. He seemed to notice, because he smiled at me and let go. "And now let's change the topic huh?" Niall said and I nodded.

Just in that moment the doorbell rang, signaling the pizza was there. "I'll pay." I said as I rose from my seat and walked to the door. I quickly paid the pizza and walked back into the living room, tfe boys all staring at me awkwardly.
"What?" I asked as I put the pizza on the table, leaving again to grab something to drink.
When I came inside the room again, Harry answered: "Nothing, why?"

I looked at him furrowing my eyebrows, but shook it off. We ate our pizza more or less in silence. After we finished eating, we seperated again. I went to dinner with my dad in Chelsea. We talked about the concert and the set list I had worked out earlier this week. I told him that Liam would come over tonight and might sleep over as well. My dad was fine with it. After all, Liam was out of the One Direction boys by far his favourite. Don't ask me why, maybe because he knows that manners exist and he is always a calm and nice young man, but maybe my dad has different reasons.

"Emily? I'll drive to the office in Notting Hill, it may get late, you and Liam have fun. Call me if you have something." My dad said as he entered my room. I was laying on my bed watching Netflix. "Okay dad, stay safe and see you later or tomorrow." I waved at him.

Fifteen minutes later I got a textmessage from Liam.

Hey I'm on your veranda, key were it always is?

I answered with a yes, told him I was in my room and put my phone on my nightstand.
Let's see if Liam can help me.