Imagine If....

You were at Your Breaking Point...

*This imagine is suicide based, please be careful while reading!*

You sat there on the cold tile of the bathroom floor with the door closed. Tears endlessly streamed down your face. As you sobbed your heart out, your eyes stayed glued on the razor blade balanced on the lid of the toilet. Pain seemed to be seeping from every single pore, and you figured it would ease whatever you were feeling. You glanced briefly at the scars on your wrists as you thought about the previous times where it all had become too much.

You've had depression ever since you were a kid. In high school, you were bullied tremendously for being slightly overweight, even when you knew you weren't. At first, you brushed all the hate off your shoulders and continued on your way. It didn't take long for their words to make their way into your mind. Self-hatred slowly soaked into your mind as time passed on. The people changed you into a shell of the girl you use to be. It wasn't long after that moment that you started cutting. At the time, it made the problems go away. Everything seemed to slowly erase away as the crimson blood came to surface.

After high school, you moved to California and everything stopped. The hate seemed to stop berating your mind every chance it got, and you liked it. Hell, you loved it. It wouldn't be until years later when you started dating Mark, as in Markiplier from Youtube, that the hate would resurface.

When he told his fans that he was dating you, many people gave their congratulations. There were those few people that felt the need to voice their hate every single way they could think of. It was sad that his fans were giving you death threat's just because you were dating him! No matter how many times you blocked them on social media, they just kept coming. It's as if they were coming from the woodwork. Mark knew what was going on, and he always told you to ignore them, and he wasn't going to leave you just because fans of him weren't happy because he loved you.

Mark also knew about your previous battle with depression. He made sure that every morning and every night that he placed his lips against your scars, telling you were the most beautiful person that he knew, inside and out, and that he was lucky you gave him the chance to love you every single day. When the hate started coming back, Mark doing that would make everything ok. As time went on, though, and the haters became more insistent, it started working less and less.

It all leads up to this moment of you, curled up in the bathroom and debating whether you should take the razor to your wrist for the first time in years. All this was going down while Mark was at the store, grabbing some potatoes for some sort of challenge he had in mind to do with Sean.

You reached towards the razor on the lid , being careful as it was a fresh razor. As you turned it over between your thumb and index finger, your mind contemplated the pros and cons of doing this. You figured for the meantime, the pain would cease to exist. Then again if Mark found out you did this....

The razor tumbled out of your hands when you heard the front door open, then slam closed.

"It's just me, I got halfway to the store before I realised I forgot my wallet here." You heard Mark call from downstairs. You sniffled in an attempt to stop the tears from falling. You never responded because you figured Mark would grab his wallet and go, boy were you wrong. When you sniffled, it's as if he had bionic hearing because you heard Mark say, "Y/N, what's going on?", a concerned tone quickly overtaking his voice. 

Fresh tears began to shine in your eyes as you brought your knees up to your chest. It was only a few seconds later when you heard Mark running up the stairs to find you. Your already broken heart shattered even more as you imagined the pain etched into his face.

"Y/N, where are you? Please say something, I'm starting to get worried here.." It wasn't long until you heard Mark's heavy footsteps approaching the bathroom. The tears fell from your face at the fact he was about to find you at your absolute lowest point.

He must have heard you crying in the bathroom because you watched as the door flung open to reveal Mark. Mark's eyes went from you to the razor blade on the floor. When his eyes fell upon the silver blade, the tears instantly fell from his eyes. You watched as the golden tan of his skin visibly paled. His mouth was unhinged as if he were trying to find the words. 

Mark's foot kicked the razor blade aside as he got down on the floor next to you. You got one look at his face and broke down crying even further. You avoided his eyes, not being able to look at him.

His finger went underneath your chin and forcefully pushed it up to meet his eyes. His usual chocolate colored eyes had darkened to a black color. With his face only inches from yours, you watched as more tears welled up in his eyes.

"Listen to me!" Mark yelled forcefully. "You don't need to do this! Don't stoop down to the asshole's level by giving into what they're saying! Despite what mindless fucking strangers are saying, you are beautiful!" As Mark spoke to you, the fingers of his other hand slowly came to wrap around your wrists, the tips of his fingers coming in contact with you scars.

"They've got it backwards when they say you don't deserve me. If anything, I don't deserve a woman as strong as you. If I went through what happened to you in high school, I wouldn't be able to fucking take it! Just like I won't be able to fucking take it if you cut yourself again! It tears me up on the inside every single moment, knowing that you're hurting and there's jack shit I can do! If I had it my way, I'd make it so you never felt pain like this way.."

Mark grabbed a hold of your arm and roughly pulled you against him. His arms came around to wrap tightly around you. As your tears slowly soaked his shirt, he buried his face into your neck. You felt his tears slowly start soaking your bare skin.

"All your life, you'll meet people that only want to break you down. Forget them." Mark cleared his throat. "Stand strong with the people that build you up, like me."

The two of you sat there together for quite some time, just comforting each other in moments of pain. Depression is an uphill battle, but despite what the people spewing the hate say, you knew that you'd make it through it, with Mark by your side.

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I wrote this in honor of Daniel, who we all know and love. He left this world too soon, leaving both family and friends in shock. This goes out to you buddy. You may be gone... but you'll never be forgotten! :)

In other news, I'm leaving on a trip to Arizona on Monday, so this will be the last update for the Imagines until I get back! Before then, I'll try and write another Chapter for both The Sound of Music and That One Possible Moment!

Just remember, there's always sun shine after rain!

~Miranda~