The Path of a Grey Jedi

Darkness

The Fear,The Anger,The Hate. Kanan sensed it. It radiated all around the Ghost, everyone felt it even the not force sensetives. It gave them a dark, depressing and sad mood. The keeper of this darkness was Kanan's padawan Ezra. Ever since they got back from Malachor nothing was the same. Kanan was blind, Ashoka was..gone and Ezra......Ezra was not himself anymore and will never be the old energetic,funny and happy Ezra he once was. Now he is like an empty shell. Still physically there but not mentally. The Guilt, hate, anger, fear are the only emotions that Kanan felt from his Padawan. Those emotions only grew and grew untill it happened....

He opened it.

He opened the Sith holocron.

Kanan sensed it.

Every force sensetive felt the disturbance.

A jedi padawan opening the Sith holocron.

Kanan froze.He needed to understand what just happened. His padawan opened the most dangerous thing for the Jedi. His thoughts were interrupted by a another wave of darkness. Kanan managed to snap back into reality as he ran to Ezra's cabin.

"Ezra!"Kanan shouted when he came in front of the closed doors, hoping for the younger boy to react but nothing happened..

The Jedi Knight tried to get into the cabin but it was locked. He had no time to convince Ezra to open the door so he used the force to open it. When he stepped inside, a giant wave of energy hit him. It was full of negative emotions. Kanan couldn't see the boy in front of him  but he could still feel his force signature...still... it was blury and..dark.

"Ezra"Kanan said in a quiet voice

In that moment the holocron hit the ground and Ezra noticed that his master was in his cabin with a worried face. The boy looked up immedietly, panic starting to rise as he changed looked to the ground. He saw the sith holocron in pieces in front of him as emotions took over his mind. He didnt know what to say...

"Kanan..I.....I'm so sorry,It is all my fault that all this happened..!"Ezra exclaimed in a hurt voice. Those words were the only ones that came to his mind. It was clear he was on the verge of tears. But suddenly he felt two strong arms wrap around him, Kanan had hugged him gently.

"It's not your fault..there was nothing you could do. It was the will of the Force and we can't change it...it is not your fault that I'm blind, Its my own i shouldn't have belived that Maul was on our side and let my guard down. Ashoka died because she wanted us to be safe. It's not your fault Ezra." 

"But......I TRUSTED Maul,I TRUSTED HIM KANAN...if i didn't...nothing  would have happened...If i was there I could have helped !.."Ezra replied, tears welling up in his eyes

"If there is anyone to blame for the things that happened on Malachor are Maul and Vader, not you or me"Kanan said as Ezra remained silent. The Master released the boy from his hug, smiling warmly at the boy. But then his senses set on the Sith holocron on the floor. He couldnt see it so he bent down and started touching the pieces. It was clear Ezra had opened it.

"You opened it"

"........I think like a Sith or I already am a Sith but how...I-I dont understand whats happenin...."Ezra said but rised his voice at the last part. Kanan knew that his Padawan had lost his sense of self on Malachor. You could even say he didnt know who he was anymore.

"Ezra you are not a Sith and you don't think like one"Kanan said with a calming voice

"But I opened it...Maul said that only a sith or someone that thinks like one can open the holocron"
"Thats what he wanted you to belive but if someone taps in his or hers dark side the Sith holocron would open. So you only tapped into the dark side you weren't consumed by it"Kanan said but he was lying. Guilt has started rising within him but he knew perhaps this is what Ezra needed, a sweet lie for now...
"Thanks Kanan... for telling me"Ezra said as he forced a smile on his face

"You're welcome Padawan" Kanan replied but as soon as he did, Ezra's gaze shifted away and back to the ground..

The older man could still feel the negative emtions coming from Ezra so he grew worried again and started to send calming waves through the force. Untill he was interrupted by Hera calling him on his com-link.

"Hey Kanan, the doctor is here to check your eyes"Hera said 

"Okay I will be right there"

"Do you.. need help ?" The woman asked from the other end

" dont worry i'll come"Kanan answered gently. Hera muttered "Okay" and the com link turned off.

The man turned to Ezra and looked at him with a worried expression. The boy just nodded in response as Kanan went to the Med-bay of the Ghost to meet the doctor.

IN THE MED-BAY.....

"Hello..?"Kanan said to the doctor as he entered, trying to feel the force signatures around him

"Hello Kanan Jarrus I'm doctor Malls. Im here to check your eyes" The doctor said as Kanan nodded. He could feel Hera's presance in the room as well.

"Miss would you wait outside ?" The doctor asked turning to Hera as he nodded.

Kanan sat on the med-bay bed. The doctor checked his eyes and did some tests and they were taking a long time. Meanwhile Hera was outside of the med-bay waiting for results, she tried to be calm but on the inside she was still in a panicked state. After a long hour of waiting, the doctor finally came out of the med-bay. Ezra had sensed through the force that Kanan's tests were done so he hurried close to the med-bay and hid behind a crate of medical supplies as he listened to the doctor's conversation with Hera.

"How is he ?"Hera asked referring to Kanan. She knew that there was still perhaps a chance that something could be done.

"I am sorry Miss Syndulla but ...Kanan sight is ...completely gone"Doctor said with a sigh

Hera stayed silent as shock took over her and sobs started escaping her mouth..But Ezra heard it. Ezra heard that Kanan will never ever be able to see again. The Gulit he was feeling became even bigger...