secret love » chris dixon

- four

he forgot, just like I thought he would. For some reason I had some hope built up inside me that he would know. I'm so stupid. Thinking that he would remember something to do with me. I don't know why I'm so upset by all this. All my feelings are stored up inside and it only takes one little thing to break me.

I sigh and flop down on my bed. Not knowing what to do today. I expect Chris will be over which isn't the best thing because he is the last person I was go see right now. The sight of him will just make me overthink about everything the other night.

I think I'm going to go out and take my pictures at the bridge. Just by myself, I need some alone time today. The bridge is a very photogenic area. The trees swaying in the wind and the river going underneath the brick tunnel. It's a beautiful place in Jersey.

Iv always had a love for photography. It lets me put all my emotions into pictures because I can't build up the courage to say them out loud.

I put on my ragged denim shorts and baggy grey tshirt. I grabbed my vintage camera that was my mothers and headed out into the warm outdoors.

Unfortunately, the bridge was right next to Chris' house. I hope he doesn't notice that I'm here...

I stood over the wooden fence, holding my camera up to my eye and looking through the lens. The scenery was stunning. I snapped a couple of pictures before I noticed a bird sitting on a little ledge by the lake. I immediately took a photo.

I clicked through the pictures, scanning each one carefully. I stared at the one of the bird. It looked as if the bird had everything. His chest was sticking out, confident and proud. I imagine he had a family, healthy chicks and a home in the trees. Unlike me. I'm healthy, but not confident and I'v got no boyfriend or lover.

As I stare at the photograph a little bit longer, I felt a small tap on my shoulder. I turn around to be met with a cute blondie with crystal blue eyes.

"Hi..." He breathed out. I gave him a quick smile and turned back to my camera. He leaned over the bridge with his hands linked together. We stood there in awkward silence.

"Did you enjoy the other night?" He asked. Trying to make conversation with me. "I can't remember it that well." I reply with sarcasm. "Who was the girl you were with?" I scoffed.

"From what I remember she wasn't who she is right now," he said, "you and me both know." And with that he walked off.

maya: he remembered.
Sent - sun. 11:45