Bad Temper | Kylo Ren x Reader

VIII. Don't Go

It would be a complete and total lie if you hadn't known that Kylo loved you, it was obvious—at least in your eyes—that the man felt this way towards you. Even when you teased him then about how he loved you, you knew it to be true... you just never thought he'd admit it.

You did everything in your power to discourage yourself, saying the man could never love or possibly feel it, but you were wrong... so, very wrong. He could feel it, and he could feel it in a way that it made your heart ache.

It wasn't a bad thing, it was good, you were happy he felt such thing. The man needed to feel something good for once that wasn't rage or pain, rather something like love itself. Maybe the love would drive him in a direction that'll lead to a lighter path. Maybe the love would do things to him that'll make him realize where he is now is not where he's meant to be.

Such a fantasizer you are.

But you knew the love wasn't strong enough to shake his darkness out of him, nor was it capable of snapping him out of it.

On the other hand, at least he had you in his life, something good to go and hang on to. A friend. A lover? I don't know yet. It wasn't like you said I love you back, you couldn't, and Kylo knew you wouldn't.

But he didn't regret admitting his true feelings, even if it meant that you would only stay friends. He appreciated the fact that you were still there with him, now lying on the grass and star gazing as night had fallen. As much as the person you were this morning would've wanted to stay in bed all day, the person you were right now wanted this instead. At least you wouldn't suffer alone. You had Kylo.

"She was a good eight years older than me." You spoke up, breaking the silence. "She sort of was like a second mom when our mom was too busy working. She was always there for me, so kind and sweet, so loving and had a big heart. I idolized her." Staring at the night sky, you smiled. "I would do anything to keep her safe, even if I was the little one. She meant everything to me, she was my big sister after all."

Looking over to you, Kylo watched as a sudden tear slid down your cheek as your lips trembled.

"She was very well known, social and outgoing, almost everyone who lived on Endor was on good terms with her. She wasn't a fighter, more of a lover. It wasn't in her to follow our parents footsteps, rather to do something else. She wanted to study Endor, the native species and plants, the interior of the planet—everything. And she did just that."

Seeing as another tear slipped, Kylo's eyebrows knitted the slightest. He had the urge to reach over and wipe them away, but he didn't want to interrupt you.

"She was doing so well, teaching kids and adults about all that she had learned... she even took me on her little adventures—she's the reason why I learned to speak Ewokese."

Feeling his eyes widened, Kylo suddenly thought about the Bocce incident on Coruscant, only making his heart stop. How could he have forgotten? He was doing everything he could to make sure the Supreme Leader didn't sense it.

"But as the bright days moved on, the dark days came along." Letting out a small sigh, your hand grasped onto a fistful of grass. "She had fallen ill, till this day I'm not quite sure as to what triggered it... I always imagined it was something on this planet that had—another reason as to why I rarely visit. She was growing weaker and weaker, thinner and thinner, yet... the happy attitude she carried was still young in her. She didn't cease to make me smile, she did everything in her power to take the pain away little by little so I wouldn't suffer as bad when the time would come..." Clutching tighter onto the grass, you took in a deep breath. "I sat at her bed side for as long as I could, even if I was told not to. I didn't care, she was my sister. I wanted to spend every moment with her until her very last breath."