Bad Temper | Kylo Ren x Reader

XII. I Wasn't Enough

There was so much regret in you. You were blinded by hate that you didn't even think about the possible fact that maybe Kylo had been protecting you for a reason. But still, a part of you couldn't help but feel infuriated, because—in the end—he was the commander and should've prevented all of this from happening.

At least a warning in advance would've been nice.

But you still felt yourself slipping into that void of pain and agony, your chest aching as your breathing had become staggered. The tears were messy and you couldn't seem to stop—if you had hated Kylo as much as you claimed to, you wouldn't be crying over him.

You were so frustrated, his last words lingered in your head on repeat as the guilt tore you into a million pieces—at least I said I love you, unlike you—it was clawing at the back of your mind. Why would he think that you had felt the same way towards him? Did he just assume you had? Or maybe it was the fact that he sensed it off of you but you could never admit to it, let alone, look into such feelings.

Clutching onto your arms as you had wrapped them around yourself, you leaned the side of your head against the wall as you sat there and took in deep breaths, tears streaming down your cheeks. No matter how much hate you had inside, you couldn't find it within yourself to truly loathe the man that was Kylo Ren.

Hearing a knock on the door, you instantly wiped your tears away as you stood up, nearly losing your balance as you had felt lightheaded before sitting on your bed.

Hearing the door slide open, you looked over to see it was Hux, only to roll your eyes. "I was informed you had yet to eat anything."

"I'm not hungry," you blatantly responded.

"That's a lie, you haven't eaten in over a day, you must be starving—"

"Don't act like you care," you glared at him.

"Seeing as you are under my care now and seeing as you will be a big addition to the First Order, I need to care... especially when you are very important to the—"

"And that's the only reason why you care, to kiss ass, not because you're actually worried about my well being. Why would you be? You almost killed me," you seethed as Hux took in a deep breath.

"Please eat your food, it's in both of our best interests," seeing a trooper walk in with a try of food as they lied it on your bed, you eyed the food, seeing it had been a tad bit more decent looking than the gunk they served you before. "I don't need you dying of starvation."

"I don't intend to." Looking back ahead, Hux shook his head at your stubbornness. "How did he find me?"

"He, who?" Looking over at him with an arched eyebrow, Hux rolled his eyes, "ah, Ren. Well, he must've sensed you—"

"You told him, didn't you?" You crossed your arms.

"Not entirely... he insisted I tell you, I just told him a sort of riddle. I guess he must've found you easily after trying to search for you after so long. I was told Ren had been randomly rushing down halls and slamming doors open screaming your name—" Feeling your heart sink, you gulped, "—but who knows as to why... must've been furious because the Supreme Leader didn't properly introduce the two of you."

Scoffing, you nodded, "yeah... that must be it, alright."

Arching an eyebrow, Hux cleared his throat. "Anyway, you will be properly meeting the commander soon as you two will be holding your first training session."

Blinking, you instantly shook your head, "w— what? Already? W— Why?!"

"Is there a problem?" He questioned as you shook your head. "Then, see to it that you eat your meal so you will have some energy in you to train and not irritate the commander. I've already gotten word that there was horrendous noises coming from his room." Growing sick to the stomach, you looked away rom Hux as you swallowed hard. "Good luck."