Ravenwings (Imaged + Completed) [1st in Trilogy]

Part III - The Victor: Chapter 34

I hardly slept at all, tossing and turning all night. After scattered glimpses of sleep, my watch read 4:58...I was thirsty, but I felt too heavy to get up...so I just stayed thirsty for an hour before finally grabbing some water.

I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I was processing the loss in scattered showers of cries, a small part of me still hoping he might change his mind and come back.

I felt so...incomplete and limp. I hadn't a single thought to bring me joy. 

Completely alone, and knowing Grandma would be furious that I up and ignored her all yesterday, I groaned. Life was that bare and empty before, I'd just never noticed it until Raven came and went. Everything the same, every single day. Get up. Take care of Grandma. Do chores. Waste time. Go to sleep. Repeat.

And I hated that life. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to live for, nothing to keep a heartbeat. Maybe Potatonut had it right, running away so long ago.

How can you blame life when there's nothing you can do about it? I still never had it even close to as bad as Raven. The awful things he'd seen and been through...I just couldn't even comprehend it. How could I ever consider myself to really be feeling pain, compared to what Raven had to survive?

After praying for hours that he'd return, I stopped hating life and just started hating myself.

How could I have let him go?

I never should have stopped at that gas station. Grandma wouldn't gave set Woodman even more determinedly down our trail.

As I concluded another crying spell, I checked my watch. It was 7:23. I finally had to admit I wouldn't be getting any more sleep that night. In two and a half hours I would wake Grandma up and have to resume my life exactly as it was before Raven. I just can't do that. I can't go back after all this.

I tried to distract myself, forcing myself to get out of bed and get dressed. Since I had no intention of leaving the house all day, soft leggings, a cozy v-neck sweater, and my oily hair were going to have to do. I had chores to do. But...Raven... I felt so heavy that I sat down on the bed again for a minute, trying to distract myself.

I could read a book or watch Netflix. Like I used to do with Raven.

Write in my diary or draw. Raven was so good at drawing...

Make food. I hope Raven packed enough food.

Reorganize my room, and clean Raven's things out of the attic.

Sit on the roof and...watch the sunset like with Raven.

How would life ever go back to how it was before? It can't. It's too late.

I rolled back into the bed with a groan. I hated this nauseous, burning depression festering in my gut. I hated myself for letting it be there. I hated and blamed everything and then it all boomeranged back to hating me.

Except I could never hate Raven.

After more laying around in my own misery, I was reveling in the silence when at exactly 8:59 my eyes shot wide and I sprang up out of bed with more force than you'd have previously assumed was in me.

Tires crunched the gravel down our driveway.

I threw aside the curtains and peeked at the vehicle rolling up to our house. It was an unfamiliar shiny, fancy, black, expensive car.

A black Mercedes-Benz...but antique and classy.

I couldn't quite make out who was in the car, but I saw a horribly familiar face step out from the first car's passenger seat. Woodman took a deep breath and smiled, looking around and glancing over the house. I ducked as I swore his eyes passed over me in the window. 

My heart pounded; my blood chilled and froze with a shiver... He's here! Woodman is here!

Then, his driver emerged from the car, and two more surly, unfamiliar men stepped out of the backseat.

F*ck, there are four of them... They were more than a force to be reckoned with, approaching only a teen girl and elderly woman. F*ck, does he know Raven's not here? What'll he do if he finds out he's not?

Or perhaps he knew Raven had left...and had instead come for me.

F*ckkkk... I scrambled across the room and up to the attic, where I grabbed the radio with shaky hands and pressed the button. "Raven, come in, this is Melody. Woodman is here; I repeat, Woodman is here!"