The League [Phan AU]

Chapter 34

Dan looked up when he heard the door to the office opening. Phil walked in with a grin on his face and came over to Dan, who pulled his boyfriend onto his lap and pressed their lips together. Seeing Phil was the favorite part of his. With the new early hours he worked it wasn't often that he was home. When they intertwined their dominant hands their rings pressed together, and Dan loved seeing them. They were a reminder that he still had something happy to hold on to. Plus, when Phil was around, the voices seemed to stop.
"I thought maybe we could talk about what we can do to make changes around here?" Phil said cautiously. Dan nodded and stood up, pushing Phil with him. He fell down on the couch with Dan on top of him. Their lips collided again and Phil's hands found their way into Dan's hair.
"I'm sorry," Dan laughed, leaning back and sitting at Phil's feet. "You wanted to talk."
Phil sat up and fixed his hair, nodding in reply. "I had some ideas of changes to make," he told him.
"Shoot," Dan responded.
"First, I think there should be a policy about killing. You shouldn't be allowed to kill anyone unless absolutely necessary. This would mean that assassination missions would no longer happen."
"That'll be hard, since a lot of money comes out of assassinations, but I'll see what we can do. Go on."
"Our artillery should be smaller. People should also not be able to stroll in here and take weapons whenever they want."
"That can definitely be done, yeah," Dan nodded, making a mental list of what he said.
"Another thing is also that the age at which you can join should be restricted, that way people join of their own free will."
Dan always felt guilty for where Phil was in life. He could be off making films like he had dreamed when they were teens, but instead Donovan had to pull him into the League just like he had to Dan. He was eleven when he first shot a gun. He was thirteen when he went on his first mission. He was just a kid when he was diagnosed with PTSD because of guns.
"Are you okay?" Phil asked, making Dan look up into his blue eyes. He realized he had been staring at the ground.
"Yeah, of course," Dan dismissed.
"I know you're lying," Phil said, taking Dan's hand in his. "Tell me."
"I just... I feel guilty, because I've caused you so much pain," Dan confessed, nervous because he had never spoken of this out loud before. "You've been through such shit associated with the League and it's my fault."
"Pain? You haven't caused any, Dan," Phil replied. "I've had the best moments of my life with you. My first kiss, my first time, when you proposed... you've made me the happiest man alive more than once."
"But our second kiss was in the infirmary because I was grazed by two bullets. Our first time was in the shower after we finished practicing to kill people. You got stabbed after I proposed!"
"So what?" Phil answered. "They're just incidents in this crazy thing called life. I know that I will always be happy as long as I have you."
"I love you," Dan whispered, leaning his forehead against Phil's.
"I love you, too."
----
Katie walked into Joe's apartment, which was quiet for a change. It was usually loud with laughter or chatter, but it must have been this quiet since Caspar died.
"Hey, Kate," Joe greeted from the counter. Katie went over and sat beside him, taking off her coat and placing it on the next stool. "Pizza is on the way, you want a drink?"
"Something strong," Katie replied. Joe laughed and nodded, walking around the counter into the kitchen. He placed two glasses in front of her and took out a bottle from the cabinet.
"I don't know what this is, but it's alcohol," Joe said as he poured. Katie smiled and took a glass, taking a sip and then looking at Joe. They nodded to each other in understanding.
"That's good," Katie sighed, taking another sip. Joe leaned against the counter casually. He looked even shorter when hunched over, but at least he was taller than Katie.
"So, how has everything been?" Joe asked her.
"Good, I'm just kind of tired of people asking me that, you know?"
"Yeah, me too," Joe nodded.
"You spend years passing people by and no one gives a fuck about you. Then suddenly someone you love dies and everyone cares about you, that is until it dies down and everything is back to normal."
"Except it isn't," Joe continued, practically reading her mind. "Because someone you love is gone, and is never coming back."
"Never fucking coming back," Katie repeated, taking another drink.
The pizza came and they sat on the couch while watching some cheesy horror movie that made Katie jump too many times. She hadn't wanted to watch a scary movie but Joe insisted. The alcohol in her system kept her from getting too afraid, though. And so did he. Their shoulders were touching and every now and then when reaching into the popcorn bowl their hands would brush against each other.
It was the end of the movie when suddenly Katie's phone started vibrating on the couch beside her. She picked it up, not bothering to check the caller ID, and answered the call. "Hello?"
"Katie," a familiar, and breathy voice replied.
"Phil? Are you okay?" Katie asked.
"We need you," Phil said. "Someone tried to kill..."
"I'll be right over," she told him, hanging up and then standing to get her shoes and coat on.
"Is everything okay?" Joe asked.
"Something happened to Dan and Phil, I have to go help them out," Katie answered.
"I'll come too," Joe said.
"You don't have to," Katie replied.
"But I'm going to," Joe sassed. "Besides, you're drunk as fuck, and I'm drunk as fuck, so together we're practically sober."
"That logic is bullshit," Katie responded. "But okay."
----
In his dreams his dad was there. He stabbed Phil repeatedly, and Dan could do was stand there while his blue eyes became lifeless and the pool of blood on the floor grew larger. He felt hands gripping his throat. He was choking. He couldn't breathe... but that wasn't a part of the dream. Dan opened his eyes and saw an unfamiliar face above him, choking him with his own hands. He couldn't breathe, so Dan reached under his pillow for his knife and stabbed into the guy's side. He cried out in pain and fell off the bed.
Phil shot up next to him, asking Dan what was happening. He pinned the guy to the floor with his knees and punched him in the face repeatedly.
'Yes, that's it. Show him who's boss!'
Dan stopped when the voice started nagging, he panted heavily and fell back off his assailant. He sat on the floor, leaning his head against the bed. Phil ran to his side and tried to get him to talk, but Dan didn't want to. He could feel them trying to take over. The voices wanted him...
'You're better off without free will. You'll never fuck up when we're in control.'
'Phil doesn't love you, so why would he care?'
'You're just a sad excuse for a person. It'd be better if you died anyway.'
After swimming in his mind for a while he heard the bedroom door opening and voices in the hallway. Katie was at his side soon, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Dan? Are you okay?" she questioned.
"They... they're getting stronger," Dan stuttered.
"What does he mean?" Phil asked from the doorway.
"He didn't want to tell you yet, but I think it's time you know," Katie said, standing up and facing Phil. Dan stood now, too, staring at the floor with tears forming in his eyes.
"Know what?" Phil asked.
"I... my mind it's..." Dan tried.
"Dan's father heard voices in his head, like a schizophrenic type of thing," Katie explained, taking the lead for Dan. "Dan has been hearing them too, and they want to take over him."
"If they do... I won't be myself," Dan added.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Phil asked.
"I didn't want you to worry!" Dan replied, tears streaming down his face. He had hurt Phil. He caused pain to his Phil. "I wanted to find a way to stop them so you wouldn't have to be afraid of me!"
"Dan," Phil sighed, walking to him and pulling him into a hug. He let Dan cry on his shoulder and rubbed his back soothingly. "We're going to deal with this, together," Phil whispered. "You'll be okay, I'll make sure of it."
"I actually found the doctor who helped your dad," Katie said. Dan looked up at her through teary eyes.
"You didn't have to do that..." he started.
"No, but you're my friend, so I did have to," Katie replied.
"Thank you."