Dancing with fire. [A Severus Snape fan fiction]

Out of the frying pan, and into the fire

Phoenix

We waited on the front step with baited breath. Then from the depths I heard the clicking of heels. Severus pressed himself against me. "Be brave" he whispered. The locks on the door were being undone. Shit, I thought as panic and adrenaline swept through me sending jolts of energy down my arms and into my fingertips. The door creaked open and Trixie came into view.
"Well, well, well" she whispered hoarsely as she leant one hip against the door. "Look what the cat dragged in." I bit my lip so hard, I could taste the metalic tang of blood. "Where is my father?" I asked bluntly. She raised one eyebrow at me, before stepping back slightly and sweeping her arm into the house. I stepped over the threshhold and glanced nervously around the place I used to call home.
It was the smell that hit me first. The air was thick with stagnant cigerette smoke and alcohol. My nose wrinkled with disgust. I stood in the hallway waiting for Trixie to lead the way.
"Well, what are you waiting for? I assume you still know your way around?" She replied from behind me as she lit up another cigerette. I could feel my temper rising as I tuned and glared at the loathsome creature my father had married. She smirked before sauntering down the corridor, in the direction of the kitchen. I glanced into what used to be a half decent living room, but was greeted by piles of rubbish and ash trays which were overflowing with spent butts. "Lets check upstairs " I muttered to Severus as I gingerly negociated my way up the littered staircase. The level of cleanliness didn't improve as we reached the landing. Then, a long, laboured cough from the room to my right made me freeze.

There he was.

My hand tightened around the small package hidden beneath my robes.
Have courage Phoenix. I repeated silently to myself. With one last deep breath, I grasped hold of the door handle and forced myself to enter my fathers bedroom.

I blinked several times so my eyes could adjust to the gloominess of the room.
"You came." Croaked a feeble voice from somewhere in the bedcovers of the doublebed. I squinted at the direction of the voice, and felt my heart skip a beat as I locked eyes with the man I hadn't seen since I was thirteen. He had been a gardener by trade, so he used to be tall and muscular. But now, he just looked frail and wasted. "What happened?" I asked shakily. "Got bit" he replied. "Bloody tentacula." I felt Severus shift beside me. "They did all they could, them healers at St Mungos, but it was too late." He paused as he tried to pull himself up in the bed. It was obviously causing him great pain to do so.

"I'm dying Phoenix." He gasped.

I didn't know what to do. I felt completely lost. Why did I come here? What good would it do?
"What do you want from me?" I asked shortly. His black, souless eyes bore into mine. Then a cruel smile twisted onto his face. I felt my body begin to tremble. There it was. The monster I knew all those years ago.
"I have something to tell you" he whispered into the dank, dusty bedroom. "What makes you think that I care what you have to say?" I spat. The corners of his mouth twitched. "Why else would you be here?" He croaked. I swallowed back the fear that caught in my throat. I refuse to let him see me scared. "Whose this?" He asked as he finally clocked Severus. "I'm with Phoenix." Replied Severus as he drew himself up to his full height. My father snorted. "What do you want?" I hissed. My patience was wearing dangerously thin. He reached out a skeletal hand and plucked his own tobacco pipe from the bedside table. He fumbled for his wand, but it fell with a clatter to the floor. He cursed under his breath. I gritted my teeth before stepping forward and running my hand over the pipe. Which instantly caused the tobacco to burn. He raised an eyebrow at me. " You're quite the talented little witch aren't you?" He cackled as he sucked on the pipe. I said nothing as I waited  for him to speak. He watched me intently through the smokey haze.
"You're not who you think you are."
He whispered. I stared at him, silently wishing him to just spit it out.

"You're grandmother, wasn't your real grandmother."

I felt my heart plummet. "What are you talking about?" I whispered. He smirked at my obvious distress. "Your grandfather remarried that muggle a couple years after your real grandmother died, whilst giving birth to your mother." He paused as he sucked and slurped on the pipe. It felt like a bucket of ice cold water had been thrown over me. This couldn't be true I thought weakly. "You're lying!" I cried. His wicked smile grew broader. "It's all true" he whispered. "You, are a cursed child! The entire female line of your family is cursed! Your mother knew that." He stopped at the mention of my mother. "I loved her so much." He whispered. To my great surprise, I found myself actually believing his every word. I truly believed he had loved my mother, but if that was the case, then why did he hate me so much? I waited for him to continue. "As soon as she was old enough, your grandfather explained to your mother about her real mother. He told her about the curse which has been carried through the female line of the family. Your mother knew! When we first met, I knew that I would love her forever. She was my soulmate. She told me about the "family curse", and I told her that it was okay. I told her that it didn't matter to me if we couldn't have children. As long as I had her, then I would live the rest of my days happy." My father stopped. His chest was heaving from the exertion of his confession. "But your mother longed for a family. She desperately wanted a child of her own...she kept her pregnancy a secret. Nobody knew. It wasn't until it was too late that she finally revealed the pregnacy to me. I can't begin to explain how terrified and angry I was. She tried to convince me that it would be different this time. That she wasn't like her mother, but deep down, I knew that I was losing her. She had betrayed me. She had choosen to leave me. When the time came for her to give birth, she was so weak. She only lived long enough to name you. I will never forget the look on her face as she held you so tightly to her chest. Like you were worth the sacrafice. She had given everything to have you. She had choosen you over me, and now expected me to pick up the pieces." I stared at the bitter, withered face of my father. I watched as big, slow tears oozed out the corners if his eyes. He turned suddenly to Severus. "If I were you, I would leave before she ends up breaking your heart too!" Severus stood frozen to the spot. He looked livid. His entire body seemed to radiate a red hot anger. Then he pulled me flush against him. "You're a pathetic excuse for a man!" He growled aggressively. My father winced at Severus' words, before regaining his composure. "Don't say I didn't warn you!" He spat. Severus went to make a move towards the bed, but I flung my arm out. "Baby, don't. Go wait for me on the landing, I wish to speak with him alone." Severus gave me a sharp look, but finally nodded and slipped quietly out of the room. A few minutes passed in silence. My head was aching with all this information. A family curse? No children? My grandmother? All of a sudden I felt dead tired. I conjured up a chair and sat next to the bed. I watched my father struggling to breathe.
"I came here today, with every intention to kill you." I whispered as I pulled out the bottle of poison I had stolen from Severus' potions cuboard. He turned to fix me with his sunken eyes. I was glad to see the slightest hint of fear flash through them. It's funny how someone so close to the end of their life, can still be so frightened of death. "But after seeing you and hearing what you had to say, I think that would be too easy." I leant closer so he could see the new found fire burning intensely within my own eyes. "I want you to suffer until the very end." Then I pushed my chair away from the bed and turned my back to him.
"My mother will never forgive you for all that you have done." I spat. "She gave you a part of herself to love and cherish, but you were blinded by your own selfishness to see the gift she had entrusted to you. Severus is right; you are a pathetic excuse for a man... and a father." 

As I walked onto the landing and into the arms of the man I loved, I felt like I had been born again. I was finally free.

Here I am, Phoenix Knight, born again from the ashes of my former life.