Dancing with fire. [A Severus Snape fan fiction]

The truth hurts

Severus

I was sat at my desk thinking about the incredible night Phoenix and I shared yesterday. I wanted nothing more then to be right back there with her. Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door. "Come in" I called expectantly, but was surprised to see Dumbledore standing there. "Headmaster, of what do I owe this early morning visit?" I had gotten up from my desk leaving the long forgotten lesson plans unfinished.
"Do I need a reason to see an old friend?" He answered back. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. Dumbledore smiled. "Shall we take a walk? " He gestured for me to go through the door first. I stepped reluctantly towards him, but Dumbledore was still smiling kindly. We walked up the deserted dungeon corridor. " I have noticed that you and Phoenix are together now." Dumbledore said politely. I
closed my eyes as I took a deep breath. I knew what was coming. "Yes headmaster" I replied quietly. "You're a very lucky man Severus" said Dumbledore significantly. I gave him a curt nod. "Indeed I am headmaster. "
"So you two are serious then? " He asked, I could sense an edge to his voice. I stopped. "Yes." I replied. Dumbledore stopped, we had reached the entrance hall. He looked me straight in the eye. "Really serious? " I could feel my temper rising. "What the hell are you getting at Dumbledore?" I said through gritted teeth. He stared at me. "Severus, she's a nice girl." I was lost for words.
"What do you mean by that?" I hissed angrily. I was almost shaking with anger. "I just hope you're both on the same page" He said gingerly, " I only have both your best interests at heart." He added swiftly after seeing the look on my face. I stood absolutely still as I let his words absorb. "Does she.." Dumbledore continued slowly, " know about your past?" I hesitated, then very slowly started to shake my head. "Perhaps, it would be wise to.." He stopped as a couple students drifted past. I looked over to the great Oak doors that led to the grounds. "Don't you think I know that Dumbledore? I know what needs to be said, I know what I have to do." I balled my hands into fists. "I'm just so... afraid of what might happen once she realises what I am." I looked down at the floor suddenly hating Dumbledore for putting me into this situation. This was his intention all along. No time like the present after all. I sighed. "Well thank you for this charming morning jaunt headmaster, but I do believe I have a prior engagement." I bowed my head to him, swept across the entrance hall and out the front door without a backwards glance. The grounds were littered with fallen leaves, the wind was picking them up and swirling them across the grounds. I could just make out Phoenixs cottage. I made my way down the steps, trying to muster up the courage to stop myself from turning straight back around and forgetting about what I was going to do. Potentially I was just about to destroy the only thing that has ever made me happy. For the first time in so many years I had a reason to get up in the mornings. But I couldn't do this to her anymore. Dumbledore was right. We were in far too deep. She deserved to know what she was getting involved with, and she deserved the right to get as far away from me as she possibly could.
All too soon I was standing outside her garden gate, watching her bent over some lavender. I let my heart soar for what may well be the last time. Before I opened my mouth and said, "good morning."