91 Days Of Missing Your Name

Day 27

When I woke up my mom was sitting on the edge of my bed crying. I had an intense headache and my eyes were sore from crying. I got up and made my way to her.

"Good morning mum. What's wrong?" I mumbled while sitting down next to her.

"G-Gemma showed me that video. I didn't even know that anything was that serious I-"

"Mum please I don't need sympathy. It's fine. I already know what I did was selfish and scary and I'm sorry."

"No Harry listen to me. You're so important to my life. The fact that you even tried to commit suicide it effects me so much. And the way you went off on Eleanor last night was so much."

"You're taking her side?" I raised my voice as I began to stand up.

"Harry I think it might be hard for her as well but-"

"No! No! How could you even think that? Mum she used him!" I snapped as she looked up at me.

The room was just beginning to become brighter as her eyes grew darker. My head began to pound even harder. My blood was boiling with anger.

"I didn't mean I'm on her side though darling. Yes I think it's hard but you're still my son. Of course I'm going to trust you."

"So I'm a letdown because I tried to commit.." My voice cracked as I felt my eyes start to water. The ugly truth came out and she knew it.

She tried to cover it up and lie. I could tell that she knew I was exactly right. Gemma has always been the good child. She's never done anything wrong. Mum's always on her side. No wonder she's developed a hatred for her own sons actions.

"No Harry it's not like that at all. I'm the mum, I have to worry. It's my job. I want you to be safe. I want you to say you're fine and actually mean it. I need you to eat darling. Please." She begs as I begin to lay back down.

"Maybe but I have such a bad headache. I'm sleeping some more."

"Do you want some painkillers?" She asks and the room falls dead silent. I stop moving into my bed and drop text covers. I already feel the usual pain coming to my eyes.

"No - No honey I didn't mean It like that.." She pleads.

"It's fine whatever. Please leave me alone." I mumble as I bow my head low. She ends up shutting the door as I close my eyes.

I cry too much. I really do. But I don't know how to do anything better. I cry and I cry but nothing changes. This trip has not done me any good so far and I still have 2 whole fucking days. I would've much rather spent them with you.