Nightmares Never Go Away

Chapter Three: Secrets

As I glance away from him I know people, my dad especially, would have plenty to say about the person I decided to fall in love with. For starters he's not quite another student who attends the same class. He's my Geometry teacher I see more than a  teacher and I'm more than a student in his eyes too.

He's enticing at six foot tall towering over my five foot six frame. Unlike anyone else he has a seductive charm I'm drawn to. I find myself unable on almost every day to tear my eyes away from him. His perfect smile, his vibrant blue eyes are hard to resist from falling in love with him more.

I could be wrong in describing him to a high standard but I can't grasp the idea seriously that he isn't. Himself as a whole is full of life. No dark depressing past and future stand in the way of him. He's the opposite of me and I look forward to seeing him after a long day at school.

Blaine is twenty seven - eleven years older than I am - yet his age doesn't bother me. Neither does the known fact Jared was twenty eight when he started talking to my dad at fifteen but this is different. Blaine is different by a quick comparison there is no doubting it. Nothing is the same concerning my dad and I.

I'm not follwing in my dad's footsteps when Blaine isn't a bad person to begin with. He's not trying to take advantage of me. He just so happens to be older but that doesn't cause me to waiver and forget the feelings inside developed over time.

I don't want to, I won't when he truly loves me. I can see and feel in my heart he does. He loves me. He cares about me and regardless of the hours between our last time able to slip away alone, I continue to get the same familiar feelings, just as the first day we started this, once we're together again. My beginning of the week always improves when I see him. More than better no longer forced to give simple glances and smiles in class and in between. I can actually kiss, have him kiss me. He can hold me and love me in his house I've gotten to know every inch of since last year.

Out of the public eye though where those who can't understand the love we share is real. Not see it as a sign to my dad I'm going down a destructive path he might think is his fault. But it's not. None of this is his fault. I want to be with Blaine. I'm happy because of him and that's what should matter not stupid numbers.

*****

School ended hours ago and we made plans to see each other at his house. Meet there in secret and not let anyone notice something is going on. Because I don't, he doesn't want to instantly become the talk of the school and city we live in which I know would spread fast.

Secrets don't stay hidden for long especially if everyone is looking at me. Waiting with anticipation of a misstep even from a young age to watch me follow down the same path but I'm above that. I know well enough what I've gotten myself into. Being involved with Blaine is wrong and against the law in every state not just ours.

I considered the consequences already. Thought out all of the what ifs to possibly happen because of this secret relationship. I know already I will be addressed as the victim as he is labeled the horrible monster in their eyes taking advantage of me. But is what they see through their eyes the truth? How can I be called a victim when I wanted this?

I been through a lot from a young age. I know what a  monster acts and sounds like and that isn't Blaine. "We need to stop this." he tries to pull away from me after a long kiss I lost myself in the moment I walked into the house.

Laying on the bed with him on top of me having only kissed and nothing more still wearing our clothes but he's already taken my breath away. "No, we dont." I insist pulling him closer to me not allowing him the oppunitunity to end what has made my life ten times better.

In two months after this month, October, it will officially be a year Blaine and I been this close and I have no intentions to end it. People can say what they want but it's not going to change what I think and feel.

******

"Where were you?" I'm badgered the second I walk on by own little sister staring at me from the couch.

"None of your concern Viv." I reply, shutting the door behind me. For once a little surprised she would ask in the first place unless she wanted to see Duncan's sister because she thinks that's where I went like I plan on saying I was.

"Dad's upset with you. You were suppose to-" she doesn't get to finish as he walks over out of his bedroom and does it for her.

"..to be back at five. I told you as a family we had plans to go to dinner together Jayden." he has his arms folded, upset just as Vivian said.

"Sorry I forgot. I thought that was going to be tomorrow and anyway when do we go out to eat at a restaurant on a Monday?" I say mentally slapping myself across the face.

Why did I say that? I dug myself in a deeper hold I didn't want to be in in the first place. Granted my dad's never became completely furious with me over something like this but there's always a first I guess. He looks past upset to the point of fed up with my attitude.

Crap! Crap! Crap! I repeat in my head just now remembering the drawing I planned to discard before the end of school. I'm such am idiot, too distracted and preoccupied with seeing Blaine and not other stuff I should have been doing instead.

"Where were you?" he goes on to question. "And don't say your friend Duncan's house because I know you weren't. I stopped by there to see if you were and you weren't. He also told me you weren't at his house this weekend Jayden. Where were you?"

Busted. Screwed as my phone vibrates in my pocket and I have this weird feeling Duncan just text me to warn me about this. But why would he have said a word to my dad and tell on me?

Maybe he isn't such a good friend after all as I thought if he can easily give me up.Then again I could have asked him to cover for me if I wasn't so worried of the possible questions of where am I actually going to be if not with him. I obviously can't blurt out I'm having a secret relationship with our Geometry teacher I've fallen head over heels for.

"Jayden?" he says and I snap out of my head back to here. Standing in the living room forced to answer questions I rather not unless-

I can't do that. I shouldn't but I'm going to to get me out of this.

"I wanted to be alone." I tell him. "I...I don't want to talk about it please?" I try to sound upset and it doesn't take much thinking back to the past of where home used to be.

I didn't like it. I hated it because the truth be told dad pretended not to notice a lot. He blocked everything out but I didn't. I remember a lot from those five short years of my life there. I remember the attic I went up and spent hours alone by myself when I wasn't being good. I never told anyone about the worst of it.

*~* I would have posted this chapter sooner but I deleted some of what I wrote and had to start over. I'm also currently visiting with my sister out of state in South Dakota but I plan to continue writing and posting chapters twice a week. I'm hoping being here will help my writing since I'm somewhere different. Anyway I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. :) *~*