*Me in the living room with our cat*
Me: *trying to read for tomorrow's test, but not going so well*
Cat: *Just laying on it's name encrusted pillow being lazy*
*A mouse strolls through the living room and right under the Cat's nose, literally*
*mouse goes into the kitchen*
*a long silence*
Me: *glaring at that lazy cat*
Well...... go get it
Cat: *just stares at me, then yawns mockingly, turns away from me and goes back to sleep*
Me: You think I'm gonna get it?.....Heh, you don't know me at all
*I go back to reading angrily*
*Mouse comes out of the kitchen, pulling along a slice of leftover pizza*
*passes right under the Cat's nose again*
Me: Well that's weird
.
.
Go get it you lazy cat
Cat: *stares at me again, gets up and starts chasing the mouse*
Me: Finally
*Cat chases mouse into the kitchen, unto the kitchen cabinet and knocks over Mom's expensive china*
Me: OH NOO!!!
*Cat chases mouse out of the kitchen back into the living room and knocks over Dad's bowling trophy cabinet*
Me: NOO, STOP!!!
*Cat chases mouse into the laundry room and knocks over a bottle of bleach into colored laundry*
Me: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
*Cat chases mouse into Mom's art studio and knocks over one of her prized sculptures*
Me: *losing my mind* NOOOOO STOPPP!!!
*Me chasing the cat chasing the mouse, but I slip on the carpet*
*Cat chases mouse out the front door but let's it go*
Me: WHY YOU LITTLE....!!!
Mom: *Just coming in* Paul, I'm baa..... * she looks around, jaw dropped*
Me: *stammering* Mom!!! I can explain....... the cat chase the mouse.........the cat knock stuff over...... the cat let mouse go........
*Cat meows, walks over to Mom and starts purring, and rubbing itself on her*
Me: You major league suckup
*Mom picks up cat and starts smiling* awwww... she missed me
*Mom turns to glare at me*
Mom: As for you mister...... TWO MONTHS GROUNDING AND NO TV!!!!
Me: WHAT!!! THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS!!! I WAS READING FOR MY TEST MOM!!! ....... READING!!!
Mom: BE QUIET!!! AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS!!!
*Mom puts cat down and goes upstairs*
*Cat strolls past me with a spring in it's step*
*gets to it's pillow, stretches while mooning at me and sleeps*
Me: Just you wait....
———————————————–——
This really happened... Man that cat really gets on my nerves...
Her name is Faith, but I prefer to call her Lucifer...
She does absolutely nothing but sleep all day
So one day I decided to repay her by not putting any milk in her saucer
That same day my biology homework went missing
I found the scraps of paper two weeks later near a mousehole behind my dad's trophy case
IT'S A CONSPIRACY I TELL YOU....
but no one believes me...... that the cat and mouse are working together....... to take over my house....
BUT I WILL STOP THEM!!! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!
