No Strings Attached? // Roman Godfrey

Killing thoughts.

"How's your hand?" Roman asked as he drove to his apartment.

You took a look at your hand and shrugged. "Alright. Doesn't really hurt."

"You seriously showed her." he chuckled as he gave you a quick look, before looking back at the road.

"Well she shouldn't spread rumors like that." you replied with a smirk.

He pulled up by his apartment and got out of his car. And so did you.

"So what do you think of Alison?" he asked as he unlocked the front door.

You followed him inside and took off your shoes. "She's really sweet and I think we will get along well."

"She's quite the opposite of you though." he said, walking into the kitchen. "We weren't sure if you were gong to like her or not."

You followed him into the kitchen and started helping him prepare for dinner. "Are you implying that I'm loud and rude?"

He looked at you, as if he wanted to apologize. But he saw you smirking at him, so he just rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I know." you answered, thinking about the first time you met Roman. And how the two of you disliked each other. He liked Alison, you could tell. Everything he did with her, he handled carefully. From as far as you could tell by this one day.

He treated her differently than you, and you weren't sure if that was in your favor or not.

"I'm going to bed." you stated after you finished dinner and put your plate in the dishwasher. "My whole body is sore, so I'll probably take a shower first."

"Alright." Roman said with a concerned look on is face. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

You nodded. "Yeah sure. No worries."

As you walked upstairs to Roman's bedroom, you heard him put his plate and utensils in the dishwasher as well. You then heard the kitchen door opening and you knew he was outside to smoke.

You grabbed your oversized pajama shirt, a new pair of underwear and headed into the bathroom. You turned your back to the mirror as you started to undress yourself. In all the time that the bandages and bandaids were off, you hadn't looked at yourself in the mirror. You occasionally saw your scars when you looked down as you undressed, but you just didn't want to see them in the mirror.

You grabbed some towels and then headed into the shower. The warm water soothed your sore body, but you couldn't enjoy it. Showering had become something you just wanted to do as fast as possible.

So after a few minutes, right after the shampoo was washed out of your hair, you turned off the shower and got out. You quickly dried yourself, wrapped a towel around your hair and got dressed for bed.

While walking into the bedroom again, you were drying your hair with the towel. You startled when you noticed Roman standing by his wardrobe as he was undressing.

"Roman!"

"What?" he said without even turning around to you.

"You scared me." you replied, throwing the towel to him.

He took the towel off of his back and turned around. "I didn't mean to."

"I know." you quickly said. "It's just.. stupid things startle me."

"Hey I'm sorry." he said as he walked up to you. "I know that, and I shouldn't have sneaked into the room."

"It's fine. It's your room." you mumbled, turning to the bathroom again.

You started brushing your teeth and sat down on the edge of the bath tub, looking at Roman making weird faces as he brushed his teeth. You didn't know why, but he had been doing that since the first time you had brushed your teeth at the same time as he did.

After you were done, you quickly got back to the bedroom, while Roman took a quick shower. Your mind wandered back to that time that you jokingly asked him if you could join him. And you knew you wanted to ask him that again. But you didn't. The joking and cocky Roman was back ever since you told him you wanted that, but one side of him wasn't back.

The straightforward Roman, who texted you to come over. Who kissed you as soon as you got here. Who teased you whenever he wanted to when the two of you agreed to drop the rules. You hadn't done a reading about him in at least a month, because you didn't want to know what it would say.

You wanted to feel his body against yours again. But you were scared. Scared that he didn't like yours anymore. Scared that he didn't want you around anymore. Scared that he was interested in someone else. You knew that he should.

The bathroom door opened and Roman walked into the room. You had a book in your hands, pretending to read. But in reality, you hadn't read a word of that whole book. You'd been thinking every nigh for the past weeks.

You didn't want to sleep next to Roman anymore, because you didn't want to think about what you missed so much and you didn't want to give yourself false hope. But Roman kept insisting you'd sleep in his bed, because you still had nightmares and he knew how to calm you down.

As you closed your book, Roman got into the bed. You lay down and pulled the covers up to your chin and facing Roman. He was still sitting up, probably setting his alarm or something.

He then lay down and faced you. You gave him a small smile and was about to say goodnight, but he moved and careful got on top of you a little bit.

"What are you doing?" you whispered. His face was close to yours and you could feel his somewhat cold body through your shirt. He was supporting most of his body with his arm, so he wouldn't put any pressure on the left side of your body.

"I just wanna try something, okay?" he asked with a small smile.

You quietly nodded and he started kissing you. You closed your eyes and your mind started wandering again. You had missed kissing him, and it still felt nice. But you felt a little bit uncomfortable. Not because of Roman, but because of yourself.

The hand that he had rested on your left hip slowly pushed your pajama shirt up. You felt his fingertips trace your skin and they gently went over a few scars, and it made you shiver.

Roman stopped kissing you and removed his hand. "I'm sorry."

You firmly closed your eyes for a few seconds, to keep your tears in, and sighed. "It's not your fault, Roman. I just can't do this."

"That's okay, pumpkin." he said, pressing a quick kiss on your cheek. "I'm still sorry though."

"What did I tell you about being sorry?" you joked, in an attempt to make the mood, and yourself, a little better.

"That you'd kick my ass if I ever said that again." he snorted. He lay down again, facing you. But you faced the ceiling, because it didn't feel nice to lay on either of your sides.

"Exactly." you mumbled.