DISASTROUS ( Jon Snow )

15

the weight of the world is heavy in your trembling arms
but the heaviest burden to bear is not the sins of this city
it's the devil inside you.

-didn't anyone tell you? martyrs don't get happy endings | j.s.

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It had been four long years. Battles had been fought, blood spilled, and lives lost. Sadness polluted the lands of Westeros. Life hadn't gotten better – if anything it had worsened. The war of five kings had depleted into two kings. Renly Baratheon had died – via a shadow demon created by Stannis, his own brother, and Melisandre. Robb Stark had died – stabbed to death by one of his most trusted advisors. Joffrey Baratheon had been murdered at his own wedding.

The only warring kings left were Stannis Baratheon and Balon Greyjoy. Greyjoy had never been a true contender in the race for the throne. That should have ensured Stannis the throne, except that Tommen, Joffrey's younger brother, was placed on the throne. The Lannisters still held immense power over the realm, especially since House Stark was all but extinct.

Amaris Baratheon didn't enjoy living her life on the road. It was cold and miserable and dangerous. All Amaris wanted was to go home to Dragonstone, but she knew she couldn't. As the princess and rightful heir to the Iron Throne after her father's death, Amaris had to indulge in the battles. She was required to know the information and pay attention everything that happened.

With winter steadily approaching, Amaris knew her father needed to act quickly and swiftly. The true Baratheon army needed to march on King's Landing as soon as possible. And Amaris could not begin to fathom why her father insisted on marching north and not south.

The Wall was not where they needed to be. What they needed to be doing was heading towards King's Landing. Above all, Amaris had no interest in going to the Wall. She did not want to see Jon Snow. She was finally able to go days without thinking about him, and now her father wanted to go to the exact place Jon was.

"Are you scared?" Shireen asked in a small voice as their carriage travelled along the King's Road.

"Yes," Amaris confessed, not needing to consider the question.

She was always afraid.

"The night is dark and full of terrors, Shireen."

A small snicker escaped Shireen's lips as she listened to what Amaris said.

"I'm cold," Shireen commented.

"We have yet to even reach the true north yet, sister," Amaris said, brushing back Shireen's soft hair. "When we reach the wall we will be truly cold. Winterfell was cold enough when I was there. I cannot even begin to imagine what the Wall will be like."

"Freezing?" Shireen suggested with a small giggle.

"So I assume," Amaris indulged, laughing just a bit.

Shireen, though incredibly smart, still held so much of her childishness. It made Amaris side sometimes. All she wanted was for Shireen to be happy and safe. Nothing about the Wall would be safe for Shireen, or even Amaris. Something told Amaris she and Shireen would never be safe again.

Soon enough – too soon for Amaris' liking – the party had reached the true north. In the not-so-far-off distance, Amaris could see the Wall. She had no interest in seeing Jon.

Well, maybe she did want to see him but she would not allow herself to fancy the idea of reuniting with him. After all, what would be the use of such fantasy? He had sworn his oath and she was a princess. She was the heir to the Iron Throne. Nothing good could come of her feelings for Jon that still existed somewhere within her.

Amaris was smart enough to know that seeing Jon Snow would reignite those feelings. The dirty, angry, heartbroken feelings that she had bottled up for two years.

Amaris felt sick. Her father and Davos, along with several dozen of his men, had ridden past the wall into wildling territory. Amaris was unsure of why he did so, but she had long since stopped questioning her father. Stannis acted as he wanted to, and more often than not his actions were correct. Amaris had complete trust in her father, so she tried to stay out of his minor decisions.

However, as the minutes ticked by, she grew more and more weary. She knew what the of time meant. There was a struggle.

"Amaris," Melisandre whispered. "A word?"

Clearing her throat, Amaris spared a look towards Shireen and smiled before following Melisandre into her personal carriage. Just as Melisandre was, the carriage décor was almost completely red. Something about the red was warm. Sighing, Amaris snuggled into the velvety corner of the carriage and looked at Melisandre, waiting for the older woman to speak.

"The man you love is here," Melisandre said in a simple, knowledgeable voice. "The bastard."

"Yes," Amaris whispered, bowing her head to hide the flush in her cheeks.

"Does he love you?"

"I think he might have," Amaris said, playing with the slightly fraying edge of her sleeve. "But he didn't love me enough to stay."

"I think he did," Melisandre told her. "I think he loved you more than that. I think he loved you enough to leave."

Amaris opened her mouth to ask Melisandre just how she knew that, but then she remembered who Melisandre was. The Red Woman was all knowing. Amaris had yet to see her be wrong in her predictions.

"Well, how much he loved me is beside the point," Amaris said stiffly. "That is behind me."

"You haven't forgiven him," Melisandre noted. "It is nowhere near being behind you. It is sitting beside you, hooked around your limbs, clawing into your skin."

The truth in that statement chilled Amaris to the bone. Suddenly, the carriage, in all its red velvet glory, did not seem so warm and welcoming. Eyes stinging with unshed tears, Amaris stood, exited the carriage and stormed into the one she shared with Shireen.

"Are you alright?"

With one tearful look, Shireen shut up and just hugged her older sister.

Moments later, a yell sounded throughout the temporary encampment and the carriage started moving. With a hammering heart, Amaris hooked her fingers tightly around Shireen's skinny wrist and tried her best to calm her breathing.

It did not work.

Amaris' breath was shallow and quick all the way to the Wall. The carriage came to a halting stop and the footman swung the door open, offering a tawny hand for Amaris to take. With all her nervousness and rapid heartbeat, Amaris realized that it took practically nothing to stop the racing heart. All she needed to do was lock eyes with Jon Snow from across a courtyard.

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it's finally getting interesting guys

also, check out my new fanfics. one is called revolutionize and its a barry allen fic. the other is called cinnamon kisses and is a grant gustin fic. they're both really cool and i think you'll like them a lot.

-bleuseys