DISASTROUS ( Jon Snow )

24

i miss how innocent we were at the start. back when it was just you and i, back when you were still a boy and i was still a little girl. back when you could never dare to hurt me, and when i thought i saw the world in your eyes. i miss how captivated we used to be and back when the chase was the best thing that had happened to us. i miss how you used to stare into my eyes and i could feel that warmth deep inside my body. i miss how you couldn't even bare to touch my skin, and how fragile you used to treat me. i miss us before we both turned something so precious, so ugly. when i was only yours and you were only mine.

—e-luding

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Davos had once again led a numb Amaris to a chamber. This time however, Amaris wasn't numb because of her grief. Her anger had grown to unforeseeable heights and she was numb to the world because all she could feel was hate towards the men that did this to Jon. She was mad in her grief, ready to rip the heads from the bodies of the men that murdered her love.

Amaris collapsed into a chair beside the table Jon had been laid on. Exhaling shakily, she pressed her palm over his eyes to shut them, and let out a small sob. Edd and the other men of the Knight's Watch exchanged glances, but said nothing.

"Thorne did this," Edd said bitterly, running his fingers over the blood that pooled on Jon's chest.

Amaris heavily exhaled as she brushed her fingers through Jon's curls. Her stomach lurched at the sight of all the blood on him, bile rising in her throat, but she kept it all down. Her lips silently murmured 'I love you' again and again and again until her mind forgot why her mouth was moving.

"How many of your brothers do you think you can trust?" Davos asked.

"Trust? The men in this room," Edd answered.

"Does the wolf know you?" Davos asked, looking at Amaris. He lowered his voice and leaned towards Edd, "I would ask Amaris to retrieve it, but I doubt she would leave his side."

Edd nodded.

"We need all the help we can get."

There was a knock at the door, causing all the men to draw their swords. They waited.

"Ser Davos," Melisandre's voice floated through the wood.

Davos sighed and nodded, allowing the Red Woman to enter. As Melisandre walked in, Edd left. Slowly, Melisandre approached Jon's lifeless form, a look of pure shock splashed across her tired face.

"I saw him in the flames," Melisandre whispered helplessly, "fighting at Winterfell."

"I can't speak for the flames... but he's gone."

Amaris squeezed her eyes shut, desperate to ignore all of this. She just wanted to rewind time, do something to keep Jon in her chambers with her so this wouldn't have happened.

When Edd came back with Ghost, the direwolf went straight to Amaris' side. Ghost sniffed at Jon's arm for a moment before whimpering and placing his head in Amaris' lap. With one hand still in Jon's hair, Amaris ran her other hand down Ghost's head, trailing her fingers through the soft fur.

"He'll have seen we didn't come," Davos said, referring to Alliser Thorne. "Thorne will have made it official by now. Castle Black is his."

"I don't care who's sitting at the High Table," Edd sneered, approaching Jon's body. "Jon was my friend. And those fuckers butchered him. Now we return the favor."

Amaris' lips quirked into a small smile upon hearing Edd's angry words. He seemed just as angry as her. Perhaps Thorne and his band of traitors would die after all.

"We don't have the numbers," Davos disagreed, causing Amaris to scowl in his direction before she realized he was right.

"We have a direwolf," Edd argued.

"Ghost isn't enough," Amaris said miserably. "He'd take down maybe two men before someone shot him through the skull. We need more men."

Edd looked at Amaris long and hard, taking in her sunken, tired eyes and depressed stance. It wasn't hard to tell that Amaris loved Jon Snow, and Edd was no expert on the matter but he would place several bets on Jon loving her back.

"I didn't know Lord Commander Snow for long," Davos spoke up. "Princess Amaris did, and perhaps she can vouch for this statement, but I have to believe he wouldn't have wanted his friends to die for nothing."

Amaris hated that Jon was being referred to as a past tense, as something that once was but was no longer. It made her feel sick. It wasn't right. Jon had deserved a long life of happiness, not the short life of cold and misery he had gotten.

"If you were planning to see tomorrow, you picked the wrong room," Edd replied plainly, accepting of whatever fate lied ahead. "We all die today. I say we do our best to take Thorne with us when we go."

"Fighting must happen, yes," Amaris spoke up, "but death is unnecessary. If we have help, no one but Thorne and the other murderers need to die."

"Who is gonna help us?" a bearded man asked her.

"You men are not the only ones that owe your lives to Jon," Amaris said.

Davos, Edd and the three other men from the Knight's Watch glanced at each other, realization dawning in their eyes.

"Bolt the door," Edd told the man on his right. "Don't let anyone in. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Amaris glanced around the room and stood up.

"Ser Edd," she said, "I'm coming with you. I can't sit around feeling useless. I think you'll find I'm quite the diplomat."

Edd nodded and gestured for her to follow.

"A queen's wisdom and a queen's bravery," Davos told her, nodding as she walked past him.

A small smile appeared on Amaris' face. She squeezed Davos' shoulder and hurried after Edd.

"You're the Queen now?" Edd asked.

Amaris shrugged. "I have no army, but yes... I suppose I am the Queen."

"People will follow you," Edd told her. "You just need ask."

"You really think the lords of Westeros will follow a woman?"

"Fat load of good the past four kings have done us," Edd responded.

Despite the seriousness of the moment, Amaris couldn't help but smile. They walked in silence for a moment longer until Edd paused at the dungeon door and turned to her.

"You love him," Edd said. "Jon was always disappearing while you were here... the two of you were together, weren't you?"

Pursing her lips, Amaris smoothed her hands over the material of cloth covering her stomach and nodded. Edd's eyes narrowed in a fixed stare on her stomach but he said nothing. She drew her eyebrows together in confusion and watched as Edd unlocked the dungeon doors. He led her to a cell at the end of the corridor, past cells filled with countless other wildlings.

"Tormund Giantsbane," Edd called, holding a lantern up.

A terrifying man approached the front of the cell, a bright red, grizzly beard on his face. His eyes were a shocking shade of blue and held a certain depth of madness within the irises. Amaris gulped and drew herself up to her full height, though it wasn't very tall. Jon hadn't been a tall man and yet he had towered over her.

"Tormund Giantsbane," Amaris said, trying to keep a quiver out of her voice. "Ser Edd and I require your assistance, along with any other wildlings that wish to help."

"Why," Tormund growled, "would we help you? Your father burnt our king alive."

Amaris lifted her chin, praying to R'hllor that she didn't appear as terrified of the man as she was.

"You'll help us because you all owe your lives to Jon Snow... and he's been murdered."

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ya'll i just love amaris so much

-bleuseys