DISASTROUS ( Jon Snow )

25

you're allowed to scream.
you're allowed to cry.
but do not give up.

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Amaris watched as Wun-Wun, the giant that came to Castle Black with the wildlings, smashed a man of the Knight's Watch into a wall, crushing his head as if it were nothing. She cringed and looked away from the blood and brain matter splattered onto the siding of the castle.

After that display, however, all the men of the Knight's Watch, all the traitors, dropped their swords. Panting, Thorne looked around at the men desperately, wondering what had gone wrong. Amaris smirked and walked forward to stand between Edd and Tormund.

"You fucking traitor," Thorne sneered at Edd.

"The only traitor here is you, Thorne. An insurrection against your lord commander?" Amaris tutted. "I could have your head for this."

Thorne glowered at the young queen. However, he said nothing to her. He knew her father had died, leaving her as the heir to the Iron Throne. He was a smart man in certain cases and he was not willing to push his luck with a volatile child with eyes made of pure, molten anger. Instead, he turned to Edd.

"The Knight's Watch has held Castle Black against wildlings for thousands of years," Thorne hissed.

Tormund stepped forward and smirked. "Until you."

Just then, a cry broke out. Olly had a sword raised and was headed directly for Tormund. Eyes wide, Amaris gripped Tormund's arm and jerked him backwards while wildlings tackled the boy.

"Throw them in the cells where they belong," Edd ordered.

Satisfaction rushed over Amaris as Thorne, Olly and the rest of the men of the Knight's Watch were dragged off by wildlings. Amaris supposed there would be a trial to see which men were the true traitors and which men only began following Thorne after the murder took place.

"Where is he?" Tormund asked Amaris.

Any feelings of triumph she had were ripped away from her. She nodded her head in the direction of the chamber that held Jon's body and started walking. She heard Tormund behind her.

When she returned to the chamber, she sighed heavily and fell back into the seat beside Jon. Her stomach was churning and nausea sweeping over her.

"Took a lot of knives," Tormund commented. He looked up at Davos. "I'll have my men get the wood for a fire. Bodies to burn."

Without another word, Tormund left the chamber, leaving a heavy silence throughout the room as everyone realized that they had to burn Jon Snow's body. Unable to stomach the thought, Amaris rushed out of the room and emptied her stomach into the nearest empty basin she could find. Attempting to calm her breathing, Amaris sank to the floor and rested her head against the cool stone wall.

She brought her knees to her chest and began to sob. She cursed the name of every god and then begged every god to bring Jon back to her. She pleaded with R'hllor to take everything from her, her name, her Sight, everything, if He would give Jon back to her.

Amaris didn't want to be the Queen if Jon couldn't be her King.

Sometime later, maybe hours or days or minutes, Amaris was collected by Davos and Melisandre. Davos made a comment about having a maester see to Amaris about whatever illness she was stricken with, but Amaris barely heard it and Melisandre dismissed it.

Melisandre and Davos led Amaris back to the room where Jon was, causing Amaris to let out a little moan of sadness.

"Help me clean him," Melisandre requested as she began to peel Jon's shirt from his body.

Amaris was too floored by the dark blood that covered his chest and the deep wounds to help Melisandre tug off Jon's boots and trousers. Her hands trembled as they delicately touched Jon's chest. Melisandre handed Amaris a soaked cloth and mindlessly, Amaris began cleaning the blood off Jon's chest.

Somehow, the wounds looked even worse when not covered in blood. Melisandre paid no mind to Amaris' distress as she grabbed the younger woman's hands and placed them flat on Jon's chest.

"Repeat after me," Melisandre requested before speaking some words in Valyrian.

Though Amaris had no idea what Melisandre was speaking, Amaris repeated the words to the best of her abilities. After a few times, Amaris was uttering the words flawlessly. And then Melisandre stopped.

"Please," she whispered into the night and receiving no response.

Looking as if she had lost her religion, Melisandre exited the room. Everyone followed her except Amaris. Amaris couldn't leave Jon again, especially if he was to be burned in the morning. She needed to spend as much time as she could memorizing him, his face, the straight line of his nose, each curl of his hair, the way his beard grew. Everything. She needed to remember everything in the world.

Just as Amaris' eyes were drooping closed, in the corner, Ghost perked up. Curiously, Amaris looked to the Direwolf, wondering what could have gotten him so excited. Before Amaris could call the wolf's name, a loud gasp caught her attention. Tears pooled in her eyes and her hands clapped over her mouth as she watched Jon sit up.

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ik it's short, but i figured i'd leave you on a cliff hanger bc i'm going on retreat with my school tomorrow and won't be back until thursday night. hopefully i'll be able to update on friday tho - it'll be a miracle if i can manage an update for thursday.

-bleuseys