DISASTROUS ( Jon Snow )

55

the heart is the toughest part of the body. tenderness is in the hands.

-because one is always forgotten // carolyn forché

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"Oh, stop that, you silly boy."

Amaris pulled a wooden block from Robb's hands to stop him from chewing on it. Even as she took it away, he giggled loudly and proudly. Her heart swelled in her chest and she tried not to think about Jon, and how she wished he was there to witness such a thing.

Ghost was curled up at her feet, his nose nudging against her ankle. He missed Jon, she could tell. Though Ghost might love her, she could never compare to the companionship of Jon. He had, however, taken to Robb. Ghost's red eyes often followed each of Robb's movements. It was comforting to know that her son would always have an extra pair of eyes on him.

Cooing softly, Amaris reached forward and allowed her son to grip her fingers tightly in his fists. He pushed himself up with wobbly legs and she let out a loud gasp.

"Oh, my strong boy!" Amaris lifted him up and brought him down to her. She pressed kisses all over his face and tickled his belly. "You'll be a great warrior someday!"

Robb babbled out nonsense in response, poking his tiny fingers into her cheek. The fun was cut short by a sharp knock on the door.

"Your grace."

Amaris sighed heavily at the sound of Maester Wolkan's voice. She looked into Robb's eyes and shook her head.

"That man," she whispered. "He never gives us a moment of peace, does he?" She stood and propped Robb onto her hip. "What is it?"

"Samwell Tarly, your grace. He'd like to speak with you."

"Very well," Amaris said, losing her annoyance. She quite liked Sam. He was kind and gentle. "Tell him to come in."

A mere moment later, Sam entered. His eyes went wide at the sight of Robb.

"Your gr— Amaris, is that—"

She smiled at him kindly. "This is Robb, me and Jon's son."

Sam let out a small chuckle. "He looks like him."

He spoke the truth. Robb might have inherited Amaris's complexion, but everything else came from Jon. Ghost padded over to Sam and nudged the man's hand with his nose. Sam rubbed between the wolf's ears absentmindedly.

"Say 'hello' to Sam for me, Robb," Amaris said quietly, pointing to Sam.

Robb babbled out a response and pointed his fist at Sam, mimicking Amaris's actions. Sam grinned at the young boy and waved politely before straightening up and looking Amaris in the eye.

"I have something important to discuss with you."

Amaris nodded. "Very well."

"It's about Jon."

She had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what Sam wanted to say. She merely nodded and gestured to the chairs sat before the fire. With Robb poised on her lap, she sank into one chair and waited for Sam to do the same. They sat in silence and she watched him carefully, wishing she could see into his mind.

"When I was at the Citadel, I came across the last Grandmaester's journals," Sam began delicately. "He wrote of an annulment of the marriage between Rhaegar Targaryen and your aunt, Elia Martell."

Amaris straightened up. She hadn't known about that.

"The next entry described a marriage... between Rhaegar and Lyanna Stark."

Jon was a trueborn Targaryen. A chill ran down her spine and she slowly tightened her grip on her son. This knowledge was dangerous. Jon and Robb were even bigger targets for Daenerys than they were before. Her face was hot and tears stung at her eyes. Nothing would come to harm her son. She hugged Robb to her chest, and not even the normally lovely feeling of his face buried into her shoulder could bring a smile to her face.

"I suppose you know what happened next, then," Amaris said hoarsely. "Lyanna gave birth to my husband, died, and Ned Stark took him in as his bastard."

"You know?" Sam looked surprised.

"I had suspicions, but nothing to confirm it until Bran arrived. I never knew of the marriage, though."

"Does Jon know?"

Amaris shook her head. "I couldn't tell him. I didn't know how. And now he's out of my reach, with a tyrant who just so happens to be his aunt." She sat Robb down on the floor and watched as he crawled over to Ghost. "Sam, you must swear to me to repeat this information to no one but myself or Bran."

"Of course."

His eyes gleamed of sincerity. She nodded stiffly and smoothed down the skirt of her dress. For a moment, she closed her eyes and listened to just the giggles of her son as he played with Ghost. It was like there was nothing wrong in the world when she could just focus on that sound. The things she would do for that laugh. A fleeting feeling of understanding for Cersei Lannister and all the things she'd done crossed Amaris's mind. Every awful thing Cersei had done had been for her children and their wellbeing. It was nothing more than a passing thought, but Amaris knew why Cersei did all the terrible things she did. The worst part was, to an extent, Amaris could not blame her.

Amaris would drive a dagger through Daenerys's heart herself if it would save her son's life, even if she killed herself in the process. Her son could live without her, but she could not live a second without her son.

"What are we supposed to do with this?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Amaris confessed. She gripped the material of her skirt tightly. "I suppose we'll start with telling Jon the truth when he returns home."

If he returns home. She tried not to dwell on the fear of what would become of Jon in Dragonstone and King's Landing.

"What's she like — Daenerys, I mean?" Sam asked her.

Amaris licked her lips and hesitated to answer. "She—" Amaris had no words to describe Daenerys. "She says she's one thing but acts in a different way. She says she wants to save the people of Westeros, but threatens to burn anyone alive who stands against her. She's lost sight of who she is and who she wants to be. She wants to be a benevolent queen, but refuses to grant independence. She speaks of breaking the wheel of power, but only acts to stall it so she remains on top."

She clenched her fingers together and clenched her jaw. Sighing heavily, she stood and scooped Robb up from the floor. Ghost nudged her thigh with his nose.

"Daenerys Targaryen could be the end of us all if we don't act carefully," Amaris said. "She has the power and the anger to burn cities to ruins, and I won't allow that to happen to Winterfell, or anywhere else.

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