Crash (SC, #0.5; ARTL, #1)

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Gift

Halos dalawang buwan na ang lumipas simula nang umalis si Harry. The time is so slow. Sa totoo lang, I can't focus. Lalo na sa school stuffs. I tried so hard to avert my attention to it pero kaagad na nawawala ako. Some days, I was staring nowhere. Some days, I was so sad. Oftenly, I miss him. Araw-araw. Wala kasi siyang sagot sa mga chat ko sa kanya sa Facebook. Walang-wala. Maybe, he's busy. Sobrang abala niya siguro sa pag-aaral niya. Mahirap siguro sa Westminster School. Saka London pa. He's focusing there, I should be, too.

It is October, my month, my birthday month.

I'm not excited for my birthday. Last year, we went to Singapore and I was soo happy. Ngayon, hindi ko man lang kinukulit sina Mommy at Daddy kung saan kami sa birthday ko. I am lucky na natapat pa ito ng linggo. Pwede kaming umalis ng Friday night kung out of town or country. But I don't feel like travelling.

I miss him so much.

Maybe, this is more than just crush. And I am not scared anymore.

I really want to see him.

Or maski kahit I-chat niya na lamang ako.

Pero wala kahit ano.

Hindi rin ako sumama kina Ches at Joss sa paglabas nila ngayong Sabado. Inasar lamang nila 'kong dalawa medyo nainis lang ako. Wala naman sa akin iyon dahil sanay na sanay na 'ko sa asar at mga jokes nila sa akin.

Binuksan ko muli ang Facebook ko.

I typed a message to him again.

Nathalie Asher Torres:

Busy? Chat me if you're not.

Hindi na 'ko nagbakasakaling mahiya sa salitang ititipa ko.

Nathalie Asher Torres:

Miss u. :(

Then, plus three broken hearts. Nag-log out na 'ko pagkatapos. Hindi pa 'ko tapos sa project namin sa isang subject. Tinatamad akong tapusin 'to kahit malapit na ang deadline. I know that's my laziness is a freak. I admitted it. Iba na rin ang nagbabago ng sistema ko. I think I changed a little. This is not me. My feelings altered me to someone—someone, maybe, someday I will never knew anymore. But, I don't care. I don't care why I don't.

Pinikit ko ang mata ko at muling nakatulog sa pagkalungkot.

**

It is my birthday!

It is October 21.

Today, I am seventeen. We went to church early in the morning. I thanked God for everything. Lalong-lalo na sa family ko. Pinag-pray ko rin na maging maayos ang defense nina Ches at Joss kasi nagsumikap sila roon. Saka, sana rin hindi na 'ko maging tamad. Huling-huli ay sana I-chat na 'ko ni Harry kahit simpleng HBD lang. I'll be happy and that will make my day for sure. Pagkatapos naming mag-church ay kumain muna kami ng breakfast then nagtuloy na kami sa Batangas. Sa kotse ay kinolekta na ni Ches ang mga phone namin dahil it is not allowed. It is family time and my birthday. Nagpalusot akong naiwan ko 'to pero nahuli pa rin ako ni Ches.

Napanguso ako ng mga oras na 'yon kahit birthday ko naman. Ches told me I set the rule so I need to obey it.

Hmp!

I tried to push the image of Harry in my mind and enjoy the beach. Pero kapag lumalangoy naman ako nagpo-pop out ito sa aking isipan. Kainis! It is really hard...you know.