Crash (SC, #0.5; ARTL, #1)

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

I love you

I brushed my short hair. Habang nakatitig sa salamin ay hindi ko mapigilang mapahikab ng ilang beses. Hindi ako nakatulog ng maayos dahil para bang namamahay ako. Ilang beses akong nagising sa bawat dalawang oras na nakakatulog ako. I breathed a sigh and finished combing my hair. I am very much in love with my hair, though.

Tinitigan ko ng saglit ang katawan ko mula sa salamin. I have a slender type of body, I know that, hindi ako curvy katulad ni Chesca. I looked so mature having edges. Mas lalo ng na-define ang mukha ko dahil sa maikli kong buhok. Nag-v neck tee shirt na lamang ako at itim na pantalons. I am wearing my black boots. Yes, I like boots this much.

Kinuha ko na ang bag 'ko pagkatapos ay nagmamadali ng lumabas ng unit. Sa weekend pa ang dating ng team, kaya may ilang araw pa 'ko pwedeng magliwaliw. I have a list of the destination we should go. Nagawa ko na iyon sa Singapore palang kaya hindi na 'ko namomoblema para rito.

Ngayon, kinakabahan man 'ko at gusto ko pa ring tumuloy. I texted Chesca already that I am going home today. Hindi pa 'ko nakakatanggap ng mensahe sa kanya dahil siguro abala pa iyon sa trabaho niya. I wonder what she looks right now? And Joss, kamusta na kaya sila? Sila pa rin ba? Of course, I know they are fated to each other. They are meant to be. May makakagiba ba sa kanila? My sister found the one she wanted. So is Joshua. And Mommy, Daddy, I miss them very much. Pero nahihiya ako sa desisyong ginawa ko at nakaka-guilty ang mga alibi kong sinasabi. They didn't even force me to go home. Masakit man sa kanila, ngunit pinili nilang sundin ang gusto ko.

It's been a long time. I don't know if I am already healed after the battle I'd been through. The lost I'd experienced? What does it feel like when you already moved on? Is the pain suddenly appeared when you see him? Ganoon ba ang naramdaman ko noong nakita ko siya...what does my heart mean beating like that yesterday? Alam kong ako lang din ang makakasagot sa mga katanungan ko, but I am not definite. I realized the things I'd done yesterday. I'd never thought of being too much, giving too much, and taking too much. All those things I'd done was beyond normal. I mistake love from obsession. Love shouldn't be possessed. It should come in natural way. The feelings you have shouldn't give the one you loved a lock. Ang pag-ibig ay hindi nakakasakal. Love is a free will, it should not be a cage. Maybe, what did I want was attention, hindi pagmamahal. The young feelings are scary. You can't distinguish the emotions easily. Dahil kapag gusto mo ang isang tao, even how logical and definite person you are, you'll forget how will you balance your heart and mind. Minsan nangingibabaw pa ang puso kaysa sa utak. My bad, I forgot about my head.

Huminga ako ng malalim at binuksan ang pintuan. Napaawang ako ng bibig nang mapansin ang katapat kong unit ay nagbukas din ng pintuan. Tila bumagal ang hininga ko sa nangyari. I was thinking of him, my mistake, and the pain. But look at now, fate moves mysteriously, hah? Seryoso lamang ang aking mukha ngunit si Harry ay kumurba ang labi. His eyes look soulful as always. Unsullied as ever, he's wearing a black Chinese collar shirt, three open buttons na nagpasadahan na makita ang sumisilip niyang dibdib, and a blue jeans. He is never bulky but his body is giving something more. Tila ba humulma ang bawat muscles sa kanya. He's looks nubile though.

My eyes flied over his features. Tinanguan ko lamang siya at umiwas na lamang. Sa gilid ng mata ko'y napansin kong may hawak siyang eco bags kung saan nakita kong may ilang malalaking tapper ware doon. Maybe, food. Siguro nga pagkain. My freaking stomach growled like an animal.

Focus, Nathalie. Pero hindi pa 'ko nag-aalmusal. Even coffee, I refused to make.

Humakbang ako at sumabay si Harry. I felt his eyes on me but I didn't even give him a glance. Patuloy lamang ako sa paglalakad papuntang elevator. My footsteps faltered on the floor and so was he. Kasunod ko lamang siya hanggang sa napahinto ako upang pindutin ang down button ng elevator. He stopped, too. Ngunit hindi ko siya binigyan ng pansin.