Crash (SC, #0.5; ARTL, #1)

Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Forgiveness

Tumuloy ako sa bahay ng sumunod na araw. Hindi mawala si Mommy sa aking tabi ng mga oras na iyon She was always asking me what I want. Ilang suhestyon ang binigay niya sa akin. Aniya kung gusto ko na raw bang mag-book ng flight or something else. I can't answer properly, because guilt is eating me up. I only suggested to stay at home for now dahil sinabi kong na-miss ko ang mga luto niya.

"Saw your photographs, sweetheart..." aniya Mommy sabay alok ng cheesecake.

"Thanks, Mom," ani ko pagkatapos ay sumubo. Nilunok ko kaagad ang kinain ko. "Where?" tanong ko.

"Travel Magazine. Pinikita sa akin ni Ches lahat. Bumili siya online..." ngiting sagot ni Mommy. "But I'm just worried about the place, okay? I'm glad you're all right..." dagdag niya sabay halik sa aking ulo. Mom is worrying and caring too much. Ramdam ko ang sabik niya sa akin. Not that, I don't care, okay. "Pumayat ka masyado. Ano-ano ba kinakain mo doon? I wish I could check you there every hour... para nalalaman ko ang kinakain mo."

Noodles.

Bread.

Canned soda.

Water.

Ice cream.

My everyday routine for the goods I needed in my damn life. Kapag may lunch out lang ako, nakakain ng rice or real damn food. I am in a relationship with 24/7 convenience store, where almost of what you needed is there. I've never tasted food as good as this cheesecake. Tatlong subo ko lang yata ang serving ni Mommy. Nahalata niya iyon kaya nilabas na niya ang buo upang kuhanan ko.

"Where do you think, Nats? Maybe somewhere in North America?" biglang ungkat ni Mom.

"I haven't have decided yet, Mom..." ani ko sabay subo muli.

Mom smiled and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. Nakatitig lamang siya sa akin sa mukha na tila tinitimbangan ang mga salitang sasabihin. I can feel it. Alam kong gusto niyang malamang ang nararamdaman ko. I know, I didn't open everything explicitly. My mother wants me to be okay like yesterday. Of course, my father wants that, too. Even, Chesca. I am willingly going to say what I am feeling, but I don't know how to start.

"This is heaven, Mommy..." ani ko.

Mom chuckled. "Same words with Chesca," aniya.

Napakagat ako ng labi habang pinipigilan ang tawa.

"Chesca's not going to be a Torres soon..."

Mom sighed.

"She's still, you know. You don't give up your surname just like that...Marriage doesn't eliminate your real name. Nadagdagan lang...ng bago. You will have the same situation with Franchesca, sweetheart," she said. Tumitig ako sa cheesecake. "Kasangkapan ang kasal sa pagpapatibay ng pagmamahalan. You will experience that, too...someday."

"Am I?" Nasabi ko ang iniisip ng aking isipin.

"You will...And I am sure of it."

I just...nodded, because I am not sure.

"Not that you will not survive independently, Nathalie. You still need someone to be with you until grey and old, someone who will love you assiduously even you're cranky..." Napanguso ako sa sinabi ni Mommy. "You experienced giving yourself whole badly to someone...at firsthand. Hindi lahat ganoon. You will find someone who will love you consistently. And I am very sure of it..." Mom is looking directly to my eyes. Napatigil na lamang ako sa pagnguya. "Okay?"