Crash (SC, #0.5; ARTL, #1)

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Pulled me

Two hours before dinner, I had already prepared everything. What clothes should I wear? I'd consulted Ches about it. I asked Mommy what will she cook for dinner? She told me it'd be British dishes. I'd helped her for the classic fish and chips. Iyon lang dahil si Franchesca na ang katulong niya sa iba. Syempre tumulong din sina Manang. Akala ko sa Patio gaganapin pero mas prefer ni Mommy sa dining area na lamang. Nakalimutan kasi ni Daddy na ipalinis ang pool, may mga dahon-dahon pang lumulutang doon, so hindi na sa Patio. Malapit kasi iyon sa pool. Tanaw na tanaw. My mother doesn't approved it.

My heart was beating loudly inside my chest. I tried so hard to calm it but I always failed when I think about Harry inside our house—I mean his family, too. Iniisip ko kung anong susuotin niya. I think he'd be formal. I don't know. Maybe, he's going to wear a button-down shirt and pants. His big brother is like that same with his father. They all look formal, you know. Ani Mommy, be normal lang daw ako. Wear the normal things I am wearing every day. But I wanted to good look.

How can I do it?

I stared at myself in the mirror.

I am wearing a denim skirt and black cami top. Ches approved it. I put a lipgloss on my lips, and then powder, and blush on on my cheeks. Nilugay ko na lamang ang buhok ko. I wish I look presentable. I wish he'll notice me somehow.

Oh gods, what am I thinking?

Pumikit ako. I took a deep breath.

It's time.

"Nathalie! Come on! They are coming!" Ches cried out, knocking on my door.

Huminga ulit ako ng malalim. Hinawakan ko ang pisngi ko. I chanted myself that it will be okay. No matter what happen tonight, it will be okay. No expectations. God, I'm such liar. Of course, I am expecting something to happen. I hope he'll notice me. I hope there will be a thing. Of course, am I this smitten? Is this good?

I shook my head.

My heart is going no where. Hindi ko alam kung saan papatungo ito at nagpapaagos na lamang ako. What happened to my beliefs? To my principles? Inalis ko na ba 'to sa isipan ko? Mommy told me teenager years are the confusing stage. Dito mo raw malalaman ang ilang bagay na hindi mo in-expect na mangyari. There will be possibilities that you'll fall in love with someone, you'll be curious with things, and of course, heartbreaks. Hindi raw mawawala minsan iyon. I'm scared. Why should I be? I don't know. What makes me terrified falling in love with someone? The heartbreaks. It's scary.

Do not worry about it, Nathalie. Hindi naman siguro ka pa dadaan sa ganitong estado!

"Nats! Ano na?" sigaw ni Ches.

"Ito na!" ani ko.

Hindi na muli akong tumingin sa salamin at naglakad na palabas. Binuksan ko ang pinto at bumungad si Chesca sa akin, ngiting-ngiti. I grazed her from head to toe by my eyes. She's wearing a white pleated-mesh a-line skirt and blue statement tee-shirt, imprinted i'm taken. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Ugh, nervous?" She mocked.

I arched a brow.

"Nope," ani ko sabay lagpas sa kanya. Mabilis ang aking lakad upang makababa na. Sumabay ang kapatid ko sa akin at kung ano-anong sinabi. Hindi ko mapakalma ang tibok ng aking puso sa nangyari. Stop it. Stop for a while, let me just think for a minute. Ngunit hindi naman ako sinunod ng puso ko at nararamdaman ko kaba.