Housemates (COMPLETE)

Bye

Ruth

The graveyard was so neat. Row upon row of white marble tombstones all rising from the manicured grass. Each one was perfect, polished and exactly the same as all of the others, except the name it bore. They were lined up perfectly with those in front and behind, a city block for the dead. How Dad would have hated this place; Dad who loved everything eccentric and unique, obscure music and old poets; Dad who loved to be impulsive and could never be still a moment; Dad who was drawn to wild bracken and ivy over rhododendrons and roses. He was drafted into the tank, he should have been safe away from the battlefield. But there was an explosion and he was given a soldier's grave. So now he lies in this exalted place, a fresh white rose every day and gardeners that fuss about with assorted machines. My hands are empty as I pass through, no personal effects are allowed. I keep a steady count, one hundred twelve across, forty-nine down.

I remember when I first found out how dad really died, I remember how it felt when I knew my mom had been lying to me all these years. How my memories were lies. I thought he had an accident at work. I thought that car was a police car. I thought the nights he didn't come home just meant he was working late. I thought his death was an accident.

My dad was a soldier.

He fought for our country.

He died fighting for our country.

I know that if I knew dad was a soldier when I was younger I wouldn't have let him go. 

But, they didn't have to lie to me.

I forgive my mom, even though I wouldn't have done the same thing to my daughter.

It's time to forgive my dad.

The crunch of autumn leaves under my feet takes me back to the funeral.

I don't remember it, at the time it wasn't even important to me.

Strangers, men in suits. Men in suits crying. Men in suits trying not to cry.

What?

I look next to me at my mom, she must be reminiscing too. I reach out to hold her hand and she clutches mine. I'm glad she's here with me, I'm glad Chance's here with me.

I'm glad Chance is always here with me, but he doesn't know that.

That's why this is unbearably crucial.

Then, there it was. 

Carter Jemison

Husband , Father, Hero

That's one way to put it.

His life could never be marked by a gravestone, something so cold and immobile. Perhaps a tree with a wind-chime in the branches could do him more justice, or a simple song sung into the wind. What lies in the ground is only flesh and blood, that's never what he was. He was quite honestly the most beautiful spirit I ever knew. I pray that he soars with the eagles on lofty breezes and swims in oceans deep; I pray that he knows the freedom this life could never give him; yet most of all I pray that when my time comes it is him that takes me by the hand and we go onwards to better times together.

But, there's this pit feeling in my stomach that he's not doing all those things. Because I'm not letting him.

And I have to, so he can move on and be happy. So I can move on and be happy.

A tear rolls down my cheek as mom and I lean down on the damp soil.

"Goodbye, baby." 

Mom kisses her hand and puts it on the cold stone. 

I'm surprised when she gets up and walks away, she's done already?

I focus my attention back on the stone.

Dad, I don't remember much about you. But, I know that you were the most special person to me. I say 'were' because you're not here anymore. You're dead. And I accept that. You've moved on and I know that you're happy. Or you will be happy once I let you go. You were always a good man, not a single speck of black in your heart. And I can only hope that I get that quality from you, a symbol of you.

Goodbye Daddy.

====================================

(Filler)