on the run [Niall Horan] FINISHED EDITED

Chapter 18 ~ Secrets

WARNING-SELF HARM IS IN THIS CHAPTER she isnt doing it but she talks about it.

-0-0-Nialls POV-0-0-



Cristle she is perfect. I mean the boys they love her and I love her that's all that matters right. Kody she is acting weird. Distant she used to talk a lot and laugh all the time, but it seams like she knows something and it's killing her keeping it from people.

After I put Cristle to bed I went to my room to go to bed as well. But I can't sleep I just can't stop thinking of every detail of our date

Don't get me wrong I have gone on lots of dates with models and famous people. But they don't make me feel the same as I do when I'm with Cristle.

I don't know what it is. but it has to be something. Do I Possibly love her that way. To be honest I've never loved anyone outside of my family.

If I do love her what do I do? What happens if she doesn't love me back. She has been threw to much maybe she isn't ready for a relationship. 

I get removed from my thoughts by our alarm clocks going off. I didnt sleep at all last night to filled up with thoughts. "Get up boys" Liam says turning the annoying beeping off.

I groan getting up we have a surprise and our tour bus is having technical difficulties so we are boarding a plane. But the problem about last minute is that it another public plane.

I quickly changed into sweats and a t-shirt with a grizzly on it and i also put on a sweater. "Nialler can you wake up the girls ill wake up Zayn Louis and Harry" He said i nodded walking to the girls room across the hall.

i slowly walked into their room and shook Cristle "Love wake up we gotta go soon" i said calmly. Her eyes flutters open "Im up" she yawned walking to the bathroom. I did the same to Kody and El then walked out of the room.

+++Cristles POV+++

Once i went to the bathroom i put on some leggings and a tank top and one of Nialls jackets that he let me use last night. I walked out to where Kody was. I saw this look in her eyes, she looked worried, scared even.

"Whats wrong" i asked she looked me dead in the eyes "i though you stopped" she yell-whispered."W-what are you talking about?"

"Cristle don't play stupid with me" she scowled pulling up my sleeves and pant legs. "You told me you stopped cutting but look at this" I looked at my wrists old scars just fading, cuts turning into scars and red fresh cuts on my wrists and Ankles.

"I-im sorry" i say tears slowly flowing down my face. "And this"she pulls up my shirt to show my tummy. "that is your ribs Cristle, they aren't supposed to stick out like that. Are you still purging?" she asked letting my top fall back down.

"No im not purging i just don't eat" i mumble looking at the ground. "Have you told Niall." She asks i shake my head rapidly. "no he wont like me any more i-i cant tell him" i started crying again.

 "Look Cristle he loves you ive over heard him talking about you to Louis and the other boys. You have him he loves you." she said making me look her in the eyes "K-Kody do you still like Liam?"i ask.

She shook her head and laughed a little "No i like erm Harry." she giggled again "Hey lets get out there" she shoved me out of the door but not before whispering "If you dont tell Niall i will" in my ear.

i sighed. i mean what am i going to do. If he loves me now what would happen if he found out i did have these problems. He can have any girl in the world. A model a actor anyone. But he chose me why. I just a broken girl that has a eating disorder and cuts.

He can do so much better doesn't he see that. I just want him to be happy that's all i want. He has everything going for him, if he died everyone would hurt the tears would pour all around the world. But nobody cares for me. Except him, Kody and the boys. 

What has happened to me I'm broken beyond repair why me. "You ready love?" Niall asks taking me out of my thoughts.i nodded as he put his arm around me helping me with my luggage.

+++ In the airport++++

After we got threw the security checks and the boys signed some stuff and took pictures with some girls we were in our gate {gate 42}. Alot of girls asked me if Niall and i were a couple. I didnt know what to say. but Niall always butted in and said yes.

We aren't official he hasn't even asked me to be his girlfriend yet. I can wait forever. Maybe.

"Flight 642 is now boarding people with children or disabilities that may need extra time to board please board now." a lady said in a fake barbie voice "should we go" Niall asked "Why" 

"your wrist" he chuckled i looked at it i totally forgot i broke it i nodded as we walked up to the lady "tickets" she said Niall handed her his and my tickets as we got lead into the plane.

Security made all the other boys Eleanor and Kody go on early as well. They wanted us all seated before anyone els.

Once we all got seated i was in the middle next to Niall and Kody. Liam Harry and Louis sat in the row next to us while Louis sat by Eleanor and a security gard.

El has changed she got mad at me the other day just for calling her Furn. We are meeting Danielle tomorrow i hear she is one of the sweetest people ever. (i know that Liam and Danielle aren't together anymore but in my story they are)

So your probably wondering why Louis is sitting next to El well we bought the tickets before they broke up and Lou couldn't change it but he got the security guard to sit in between them.

I rested my head on Nialls chest and fell into a deep sleep. Niall always plays with my hair its weird but it helps me sleep.

I walked into the bathroom i feel so sick like im going to get sick and i dont wanna barf on Niall or someone. I lean over the toilet as i barf my guts out well thats what it feels like. I look into the toilet and i barfed out blood i need help. I try yelling for help but nobody comes.

Everything startes to get foggy as my vishion is going from black to normal again and im beyond dizzy. I try to call for NIall again but no sound comes out. The next thiing i see is john standing in the door way "just die" he says while chuckling.

I close my eyes giving up. The words "Just die" ringing threw my head.

"Cristle its okay shh i know i know dont worry it was just a dream" Niall cooed into my ears.

Just a dream none of that happend. Once my sobbs calm i sit up and get my notebook out.

Dreamlog- 12-20-13

After writing what my dream was i looked at Niall and set a kiss on his cheek. "Really" he laughs. I nod before his lips crash into myn. "i love you" i say blushing "i love you too" he laughs. 

"Niall i need to get Lou something for his birthday can you help me?" i ask he nods "but you wont see him on ether of thoes days" Niall says with his cheeky grin "what" i stutter

"You'll see" is all he says before focasing back on the window. "Just you and me" he mumbles under his breath i could bearly hear it but i did.

"Niall what the fuck is going on" i ask he looks at me and smirks "Welcome to Muligar Ireland enjoy your stay" the flight attendant says.

My eyes widen "N-Niall" i stutter "Welcome home" he sighs the smile not leaving his face. "Were are the other boys and Kody an El going" i say starting to panick "El and Kody are going to El's step moms house and the boys are going home." he says i nod not knowing what to say.

"Cristle, will you be my girlfriend" he asked i look at him wide eyed "Ni i-errr"

+++++

Merry Christmas everyone i love all of you here it goes,..... Love you all haha i dont really know what to say i um ya awkward.

Some questions.

1- What do you think of Barbara?

2- What is Cristle going to say?

3- What did you get for Christmas?

Please vote and comment this story is about half way done!!

~Destany xx