Words

Goodbye, My Almost

I write with my own blood to produce tragic tales
you paint with bright colors to create a masterpiece
I was intoxicated by my own darkness and was willing to write about chaos; about hatred; about nothingness; and about the demons that reside in my head.
You have this contagious atmosphere around you that makes me want to feel your warmth. And that saved me from myself. You... you saved me.

You became my sweet metaphors, I started writing about you.

About how flowers would bloom in the background whenever we're together;
About how your lips would curl into a fascinating grin and that would make my whole world stop;
About how you touched my hand and whispered sweet-nothings like it's everything I longed to hear;
About how great you are for trying to break the walls of my heart;
About how you wrapped me in your arms and told me you love me amidst the fact that I am your complete opposite.

The concept of you and I became a wishy-washy fairy tale, I almost believed it was real. Almost.

I was too happy I never noticed the change in your paintings. The bright colors became all shades of black. The imagery became so dark; it makes me feel terrified whenever I look at it. Your paintings were pulling me back to darkness again.

I asked you what happened. You just shrugged and answered, "This is how you made me feel."

I didn't know what to say.

It was because of me.

It was my fault.

I didn't realize that you were already bleeding. I didn't realize that while you were saving me, you fell into the depths of my darkness.

You were saving me but I made you lose yourself.

I'm sorry. I could've saved you, too. We could have saved one another. But I was too blinded by the lights and bright colors of 'us'. I was too amazed by how you saved 'me'. I never noticed the darkness that started as a silhouette stranger that grew bigger and more powerful in 'you'.

So, goodbye, my almost. I think it would be better for us to be apart. Maybe, in that way, you'll be able to find yourself again. That way, you'll be able to appreciate the radiance of those bright colors again. You gave me your light. I gave you my darkness. You gave me happiness. I gave you sadness. You saved me. I couldn't save you.

...but I could still save you.

There is still a chance.

I'll save you by saying 'goodbye'