Words

Why I Chose You

You once asked me why I chose you. I smiled but said nothing.

Because, darling. You don't know a single thing.

You didn't know how you saved me from myself with your smile. Your smile sent colors to my monochromic world. It's as if, your smile is my source of light. A dim, genuine light. You left me addicted. Your smile intoxicates me. I was once accustomed to being alone. Alone with these walls caving in and I have only myself to blame. Alone with my world so dull, I didn't even care. Alone with the voices of the demons that reside in my mind, making me feel small.

I was engulfed by my own darkness.

And then you came.

You saved me.

It's because of you that I started to think how lonely I was.

You fill the silence with laughter.

You fill the empty space of my heart with your love.

You made me realize that being alone is scary.

...especially with my own thoughts.

You didn't know how you saved me from myself with your eyes. There's a whole new world behind those eyes. And I was eager to get lost in it. Because you. You are the epitome of mystery. You are like the ocean... so beautiful but mysterious; so breathtaking but deadly. But I want to drown on the ocean. I want to know the depths of your being. I want to explore your soul. I want to know you.

Because you did the same with me.

You explored my depths and saw everything.

You crawled into the deepest, darkest part of my mind and accepted me whole.

You accepted me even when I couldn't accept myself.

You saved me.

And I want to save you, too.

So, please, don't be afraid to show it all. Because, darling, I will accept everything. I will accept you the way you accepted me.

And in that moment, you made me realize that saving another soul is more important than pushing people away because of my selfishness.

You didn't know how you saved me from myself with your touch. That touch caressed my skin with gentleness and I couldn't help but crave for more. Because... it's the first time in my life that I've felt the warmth of someone's hand against my skin. It's the first time in my life that I've felt the warmth of someone's embrace. You made me feel secured and vulnerable. It's as if, your embrace is like a medicine to my bruised soul. And I know that the scars are mending. And, darling, I know you are my cure.

And in that moment, you made me realize how weak I was. Because heck, I pretended to be strong. I always put up a tough figure for people to see that I can handle everything. I want people to know that I am not afraid at all. But when I'm with you, I can see it collapsing. The confidence I've always gathered up for me to face society again; the strength to smile and laugh, pretending that I don't have any major problems at all; and the indifference I show when I'm hurting.

You said it's okay for me to rely on you. You said it's okay for me to show you the real me.

...and so I did.

You once asked me why I chose you .

I answered, "Because when I'm with you, I can be who I really am."