Words

"Hey, they're asking me if you're my girlfriend"

I've been hung up for how many years. I've been hiding my feelings for you in a glass bottle buried within my heart. I kept all these words of love for you because I know... it shouldn't be here in the first place. I know you already have someone else. Someone who carved her name on the walls of your heart so it could only beat for her. Someone who tasted your lips with such sweetness of strawberries and cupcakes so you wouldn't forget her. Someone who could dance with you in the rain and hold your hand when darkness reigns. Someone who is not afraid to love you.

I know you already have someone.

...someone who isn't me.

I already know you are not meant for me. Because you and me. Us. We were on the brink of something beautiful. Something so beautiful... I almost believed it was real. Almost. But I became so indifferent. I became so distant. I didn't give you a single chance... until you fade away from me.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I was afraid. I was afraid of getting attached on someone whose feelings aren't meant for me. Because heck. I did love you. I fell for you.

On the edge of an empty hallway, we were there. We were seating on the floor and we were telling stories of the past; memories which are younger than noon. And I'm right beside you... smiling as we remember the days.

Then the girl on your side whispered something I couldn't hear. You began to laugh and told me. "She's asking if we were dating."

Nervous, I quickly said "Why would I date a jerk like you?"

You just laughed at me while I keep on swearing to myself.

Act natural, I said to myself. Because if I don't, you would see it in my eyes how I fell for you.

Yes. I fell for you.

I loved you.

I know those three words aren't in present tense nor in a future tense. It's in a past tense. Because my feelings for you which were hidden in a glass bottle is already broken. I painted the walls of my heart with my own blood so that it would cover your name. It doesn't beat for you anymore. I wrote my love for you full of metaphors and bright colors in a sheet of paper until I'm out of words to describe love; until I'm out of words to describe us.

And now, my heart is empty.

But, you know what? When I saw you, all those memories came rushing back in my mind. It made me feel like I was watching an old movie because everything that reminds me of us flashed in my mind. Like an old tape playing in monochrome. But the feelings are gone.

"I miss those days," you said to me.

And then I smiled. "Yeah, I miss it, too."

But the only thing I missed is you; the memories of you and I.

I never cared about anything else.