The Aster {Book 1 & 2} (Batman/Joker/Robin/Batgirl story)

2.4. Scars

"Wow!" Johnny gasps, stumbling down the steps, his eyes traveling from one side of the cave to the other, taking in every detail.

"Who is this?" Batman demands angrily, his eyes turning accusingly towards me and Dick.

"This is the boy the Commissioner wanted help with," I say reluctantly, my gaze falling to the floor.

"You brought him here?"

"Not here, to my apartment, I just wanted to help -"

"Look, this doesn't matter right now," Batman cuts me off, before turning to Johnny. "Get out of here, wait in the study for us. Don't even think about running."

He doesn't make a move.

"Hey, I wanna stay. You never know, maybe I could help you guys out," he says casually, puts his hands in his pockets.

"We don't need your help," Barbara says, rolling her eyes and turning to face him.

"Okay," Johnny shrugs, but stands his ground.

"You're an annoying little shit, you know that?" Dick suddenly turns on him aggressively.

"We're wasting time," Batman grabs Dick and pulls him away from Johnny.

"Then let's get out there!" Dick exclaims impatiently, pulling himself away from Batman.

"No. Somebody has to stay to protect Meredith."

Both Dick and Barbara look confused.

"Why would he come after her?" She asks, frowning.

Batman turns and catches my eye. No. Don't do it. For God's sake don't do it.

"Because she's having his child," his says, voice is quiet, matter of fact.

The room is silent for one agonising moment.

"What?" I can't read Barbara's voice, I'm desperately trying to but I can't. Dick looks like he's been punched in the stomach.

"Did he rape you?" He suddenly speaks, he's trying to keep his voice balanced.

I shake my head and drop my eyes onto their feet. I can't look at them. I don't think I'll ever be able to ever again.

"No," I whisper.

"Well," Johnny almost sounds amused, "that's taking going to bed with a ten and waking up with a zero to a whole new level."

This isn't funny!" Dick yells, spinning around as if to hit him.

"Dick!" Barbara grabs his sleeve but he yanks himself away from her. I don't think I've ever seen him so angry, so angry I'm scared he'll hurt someone.

"You knew?! You knew that all this time and you didn't think it was worth telling us?!" He turns on Batman. He remains silent. I almost want him to say something, to defend himself, to tell Dick to shut up, but his silence is hurting Dick more than any words and I don't want that to happen.

"It wasn't my business to tell," he says at last, quietly, like it's the only thing he can think of to say.

"You're business?! I thought we were in this together!" He reels around to face me and opens his mouth to yell but nothing comes out. All he can seem to do is shake his head.

"Were you ever gonna tell us?" Barbara says something at last, crossing her arms and avoiding eye contact with anyone. Her voice is cold and hard.

"I didn't know how to," I whisper, pulling my bathrobe tight closer around me, trying to stop my body from shaking.

"Oh, maybe 'I'm having the Joker's fucking son' would have sufficed," Dick snaps, suddenly finding his words again.

"Don't talk to your sister like that," Batman interrupts, like a referee at a shitty baseball game.

"She's not my sister, and you're not my father. And don't either of you ever forget it," he snarls in retaliation. Hearing him say that is almost like being stabbed. For both of us.

"Dick, we need to calm down," Barbara reaches out again but he just lashes out his anger at her.

"You're no better Batgirl. You're just like these two. I know what you did. What you did with him." He points at his finger accusingly at Batman. Her face falls and she looks at the floor.

"Dick -"

Batman puts a hand on his shoulder but he pushes him away, caught off guard he almost stumbles backwards.

"This is it Batman. I quit."

He storms past Bruce and heads up to where a motorcycle is parked alongside the Batmobile, and before anyone can stop him, the engine is on and he's speeding away along the narrow road.

We all stay silent as the roar of the engine vibrates through the whole cave, long after he's disappeared into the darkness. I feel the tears start to come as the echoes grow silent, and I start to stumble away towards the stone stairs.

I gotta get out of here, I can't face anyone right now. Not Barbara, not Bruce, not anyone.

How is this ever going to heal? I feel like I've been slashed across the chest, across the back again. The scars were healing, now they've been slashed wide open again.

And I don't know if things are ever gonna get better again.