The Aster {Book 1 & 2} (Batman/Joker/Robin/Batgirl story)

2.23. Survival

My fingers play nervously together as the elevator rises slowly up into the penthouse level.

I'm so paranoid it's almost hard to function. What if tattoo man saw something, saw the way Barbara was looking at me. Understood the message. What if he's onto me?

The elevator comes to a halt and I brace myself for a whole new set of fears.

The door opens. The apartment is quiet, the only person I can see is a guard sitting at the table, off handedly flicking through a porn magazine.

"Where's Mr J?" I demand, snatching the magazine out of his hands and throwing it across the room.

"Out." He glares up at me, his fingers clenching together in a half-fist, claw like shape.

"Where's Evelyn?"

"Who the fuck is that?"

"The baby, fuckwit."

He grunts and nods towards the bedroom, as I turn away I catch him exchanging a look with tattoo man. I don't know what it means but I really don't care. I have to see my baby.

The old lady lets out a small cry and springs up off the corner of the bed as I burst into the room. I guess I must look almost deranged.

"The baby's asleep," she stammers, shrinking away from me defensively.

Why is she so scared of me? What has she got to hide?

I dart behind the screen. And breathe a long sigh of relief. Evelyn is wrapped expertly in his blanket, fast asleep, like she said.

I gently brush my fingers through his soft wisps of dark hair. I didn't realise how much I've missed him until now.

"Y-your boy is very beautiful," a timid voice pipes up from behind me.

I can't help smiling a little.

"Thank you."

I turn to face her and its the first time really see her. She must be nearing eighty at least, she has short silver and white hair probably still styled the same way she had it in the 50s. She's trying so hard to look strong, but I can see her hands shaking.

She knows know I'm back she's going to be made 'redundant '.

The guard who was sitting at the table appears at the doorway.

"I've been told to escort you out," he smirks.

I want to say something to comfort her but I can't. We both know what's going to happen next. I can't help her. Nothing I can say, nothing I can do.

I have to protect myself. Remain emotionally detached.

I turn away and focus on Evelyn as they drag her out.

This is the only way to survive.

****

That night after Evelyn is settled in his cot again, I sit in bed in some of new lingerie and start reading Gone With the Wind. Not what I'd usually reach for, but I guess the striking movie poster cover is what sold it to me.

I haven't seen anyone else all afternoon, I haven't wanted to. I know the temptation to ask about the old woman would become too much. And I don't want to know the answer.

So I've kept myself busy holding Evelyn while unpacking all my stuff. I've cleared out one of the cupboards and made it my own, the Joker didn't need all that space for himself. Though I doubt he'll even notice, I've never seen him use any clothes from in here.

I jump as the bedroom door opens, looking up I expect to see the Joker, but I don't. It's tattoo man.

"What do you want?" My voice falters as I struggle to cover myself with the bed sheets.

"I'm just here to say hi."

Okay, something's wrong. That sentence and the tone of his voice combined are screaming to me like sirens.

"Where's J?" I ask suspiciously, pulling the sheets even tighter around me.

"Don't worry, he's not here for you to run crying to."

He's been drinking, a lot. I didn't pick up on it at first, but now it's blaring obvious. The way he's swaying ever so slightly on his feet, the clammy sweat on his forehead...

Crap.

"I'm not gonna be the one crying if you don't piss off," I snap, slamming my book shut. I'm bullshitting and he knows it.

"You wanna bet?"

He comes over to the bed, I try to scramble away but he grabs me by the ankles and yanks me back towards him. My fingernails dig into the mattress as I struggle to keep my grip.

"Stop it, stop it!"

I kick out at him but he manages to pin my legs down with one hand, the other hand goes up to my shoulder and slams my body down onto the bed.

"Stop it!" This time I yell at the top of my voice, there's another guard out there, he's got to help me. He's got to hear.

Tattoo just laughs and swings himself on top of me, his hands are now free to grab at my body.

I can feel something pressing into my leg, something in his front pocket. Something cold and metallic.

Without hesitation I grab the gun. I don't think he's even processing as I ram it into his forehead, right between the eyes.

I know I have a choice.

But I've already made my decision.

I pull the trigger.

Blood and small fragments of bone shrapnel almost blinding me as his whole face almost seems to explode, like something out of a sick horror movie.

Only the smell, the feel of the blood caked onto my skin... it's not a movie.

I don't feel sick or frightened.

I didn't have to kill him but I wanted to. He deserved it.

I push the body off me and slide onto the floor.

Evelyn is crying but I
don't want to get blood on him.

The other guard reaches the door the same time I do. He looks frantically past me into the room and freezes at the sight before him.

"There's a mess in there for you to clear up," I sigh, patting him on the shoulder as I pass him.

He disappears into the room and I put the gun down onto the table. It's almost glued to my hand with a blood.

I guess I could keep hold of it but I don't really want to.

The sound of the gunshot is still resonating in my mind.

Evelyn is still crying in the bedroom. Even through this numbness it hurts to hear him. I want to go to him but I can't.

I go over to the window and look out at Wayne Tower.

Are they still trying to find me?

And would they if they knew what I've become?