Joke!

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NANAY: Anak ang bait mo naman simula ng makalabas ka sa Mental Hospital pinuno mo na ng tanim itong bakuran natin. Bakit mo nga pala pinupuno ng halaman ang bakuran natin?

ANAK: A HUGE WAVE OF ZOMBIES IS APPROACHING!

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Ms. Universe intro:

Hindi ka naman kausap, sumasabat ka. Huwag kang masyadong... NEPAL!

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This is Miss Universe joke and tells us how China is everywhere.

Location: At the back stage after the coronation of the pageant...

Ms. China: Congratulations Ms. Angola!

Ms. Angola: Thank you Ms. China, Do you like my crown?

Ms. China: Yes, of course! ...check what's written on it. (Then Angola takes off her crown and read the little words on the back).

Ms. China: What does it say?

Ms. Angola: MADE IN CHINA

China: Correct...

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The FINALISTS:

Miss America

Miss Spain

Miss Britain

Miss Philippines

Miss Iran

Miss India

Miss Japan

QUESTION : Ms. America, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. AMERICA : Well, I would say that male organs in America are like gentlemen.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. AMERICA : Because it stands everytime it sees a woman..... (Applause!.... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Spain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. SPAIN : Male organs in our country are like toros in our very own bullfight.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. SPAIN : Because it charges everytime it sees an opening. (Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Britain, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. BRITAIN : Male organs in our country are like Shakespearian actors and Heroes.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. BRITAIN : Because it cries after every performance and because it is buried alive. (Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Iran, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. IRAN : Well, I can say that male organs in Iran are like thieves

QUESTION : And why do you say that?

MS. IRAN : Because they always enter through the back door..... (Applause!... Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. India, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. INDIA : Well, I can say that a male organ in India is like a labourer.

QUESTION : Why do you say that?

MS. INDIA : Because it works day and night.... (Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Japan, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MISS JAPAN: It's like an actor in a stage play....because it bows down after every performance.

(Applause!..Applause!)

QUESTION : Ms. Philippines, how would you describe a male organ in your country?

MS. PHILIPPINES : Ahh...well, opcors, hihihihi...I can say dat male organs in our country are like chismis...

QUESTION : Chismis???

MS. PHILIPPINES : Ayy! Sorry... Its ano, ahh kuwan...it means GOSSIP in our language.

QUESTION : Hmm... Interesting comparison. And why do you say that?

MS.PHILIPPINES : Ayy...Dyahe!!!!Hi hi hi hi hi hi...Kasi....I mean because it passes from mouth to mouth..

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