Focus |Luke Hemmings|

19.) Is This Love?

Airica's P.O.V

It's been two days since the kiss, and I still can't get her out of my mind.

I haven't told Luke what happened.

I feel so guilty that I have had sex with Luke four times these past two days, and I make-out with him whenever he wants and I think he is starting to notice it. I usual joke around about him being horny to much, but I haven't been.

I'm not ready to talk to him about it. I need a few more days to think about what is actually going through my head.

Do I even love her? Or do I just love the feeling of being loved?

I love Luke, and he makes me feel different than she does. With him, I get butterflies in my belly when we kiss passionately. With her, I just felt like I was burning up from the inside out.

I can't wrap my head around what the two feelings mean.

Which one is love, and which one is not?

"Airica, you look really pale. Are you feeling alright?" Luke asked me.

"No not really babe. I'm having really weird feelings in my belly right now." I said.

I stood up and walked out of the room and locked myself in the bathroom. Sliding my back down the door and covering my face with my hands and placing my head between my knees. I let out a frustrated sigh.

Why is this so hard?

I should have never kissed her.

After a few minutes of crying and thinking I stood up and walked out of the bathroom and back into the living room to see Luke sitting on the couch waiting for me.

"I feel really sick Lukey so I'm gonna head home and take a nap. I'll text you when I wake up, and if I feel better we can cuddle and watch movies. Okay?" I said.

"Okay babe. I hope you feel better, or I'm taking you to the doctor tomorrow." He said and I smiled slightly. He kissed my cheek and walked me to his front door.

I walked over to my house and went straight to my room, locking the door behind me.

I sat on my bed and stared off into space, thinking about Luke. How could I be doing this to him? I feel so guilty about kissing Candace, but in a way I feel like what I did wasn't wrong because I liked it.

I need help, I need to talk to someone who isn't involved.

Michael? No he'll get drunk and tell Luke before I get the chance to.

Calum? I trust him, but I don't think he will be able to give me advice in this type of situation.

Ashton? He's older than me and might have an idea on what I should do. The older, the wiser right?

Let's hope that's the case.

I dialed his number in my phone and listened to the dial tones until he picked up.

"Hello?"

"Ashton, can you met me somewhere tonight? It's really important." I said, a nervous tone evident in my voice.

"Sure, Airica. Are you okay?" He asked.

"No. Not really. I'll explain later. Can you come over? And don't tell anyone. I need to talk to you alone." I said.

"Sure. I'll be over in a few minutes."