Focus |Luke Hemmings|

20.) Love or Lust?

Airica's P.O.V

"I just don't know Ashton. I know I shouldn't have kissed her, but now I'm so confused on what to do. I feel like I love him, but I feel like I still love her. I don't know how to decipher the two feelings I have." I explained all while crying into my hands.

"Well can you explain the feelings to me?" Ashton asked.

"When I'm with Luke I feel like I can do anything. I feel like the butterflies in my stomach are just gonna burst out and lift me off my feet. I feel like I could fly. With Candace, I feel like I'm burning up. It's like someone lit a match in my stomach and soon the heat takes control of my whole body." I explained and Ashton nodded.

"Well Airica, from my history with this whole love thing, I can tell that you really love Luke. There is no doubt about it." Ashton said and I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Then why do I feel like this about her?" I asked, frustrated with myself.

"That my dear isn't love. It's lust. Your body wants the feeling of love, and if you're away from Luke it has to find the feeling somewhere else. In my honest opinion, I don't think you ever loved her. I think you just wanted to be loved. You needed o be kissed, and touched by someone who loved you." Ashton said.

"That doesn't make sense though Ashton. I loved her before Luke." I said and Ash chuckled quietly.

"You have always loved Luke. I saw the way you used to look at him before you had the whole Candace phase. You love him, and with her, you just like the feeling that you get when someone loves you, so you wanna love them back, but you just don't." Ashton explained.

I stared at him silently.

Is that really true?

Have I always loved Luke? Was Candace just a distraction that I made for myself?

If I love him, why does my body wanna love someone else?

"Ash, how can I find out? I wanna know one hundred percent if I love her." I asked and she looked at me as if he was searching my face for an answer to my question.

"The only way to really tell is to make an advance towards her, or let her advance you. If you let her advance you and you feel weird, you can tell her to stop and it wouldn't really be cheating if you stop it. You didn't ask for it. Luke would understand that." Ashton said.

"You really think that's the only way?" I asked and Ashton shrugged.

"I can't think of anything else right now. So, if you wanna get it over with and find out, just go to her room and see what happens. Your secret is safe with me. Luke won't find out about this until you're ready to tell him. And when you are, I'll stand right there with you while you tell him." Ashton said causing me to smile.

"Thanks Ash. You're an amazing friend." I said giving him a hug and burying my face in his shoulder.

"Stay here, I wanna talk to you again as soon as I find out everything."