Jennifer's POV.
What the fuck just happened? I mean...She kissed me and left...Just like that. She was driving me crazy, she was fucking with me and my mind. She was so inviting I swear. I couldn't avoid it. She was hot and sexy, she had a pretty fucked up mind but she was perfect. After that I have to admit I was left wanting her even more, but I couldn't- I couldn't let that happen. I finished my day and by almost four I was heading out to Gino's house. He wanted to talk about "stuff" and just hang out so we were doing that. Talking. I was at a red light stop and I took the chance to fix myself a little, my makeup and then pushed my boobs up. I was looking at myself in the mirror when I heard the car next to me honking. I jumped and looked at it finding Leah's face with a grin on. She waved at me and I smiled, the light changed and I drove away. I was constantly looking at the rearview mirror, and I saw her car slowly disappearing. When I almost at Gino's house I checked one more time and I saw her car, she was following me? Oh no. Then Gino walked out and got inside my car. "Hey gorgeous" "Hi baby" "What is it?" He asked and looked up at where I was looking. "Nothing, everything's fine. Ready to go?" He nodded. We went to some sort of bar to have some drinks and talk about things, he was the talkative one. Leah didn't follow me anymore and I assumed she saw me with Gino and connected the dots, so by that moment she was maybe thinking I had something with him and I was pretty sure she did think that. I didn't know how to feel about it. Maybe it was going to stop her. But did I really want her to stop? Sigh. I would need to wait. I was slightly hoping she would show up at my house again. I was craving her presence and that was a first, that was super weird. She was my freaking patient. I couldn't do that. Not even if I wanted. That was not professional and it completely against the rules.
When I drove him back to his house.
"Do you wanna come in?" He asked before getting out. I looked at him and made a face. He just looked at me waiting for an answer. I bit my nail, "I probably shouldn't, but I'm gonna do it anyway" I grabbed my keys and we both walked out getting in his house. Yes, we fucked, that's why I shouldn't have had.
I was trying to catch my breath placing my hand over my chest after almost half an hour of straight sex.
"You need to find yourself a hobby" I said, "One that doesn't include me, in your bed, or you in mine" I said and grinned standing up letting my elbows hold my weight. "You say that like I'm just using you" "Certainly" I shrugged. "That's not true." He gave me a look. "You need to find yourself someone, Gino, someone other than me...This is just a game, this is not going anywhere" I assured. "Jen come on" I shook my head, "You know my answer." He sighed releasing so much pain. "I'm stupid, I know I am, I'm making things harder for you, I try to tell you to go find someone else yet I'm here in your bed- we just had sex..." He nodded making a face. "Yeah I know it's true, but- I don't know what makes me do it" "You do it because you like it." He said and I narrowed my eyes thinking about that, "It's pleasing" I shrugged. "So now you're gonna tell me you don't like it? Because you a few minutes ago begging me to make you cum and stuff, said otherwise" I looked at him and rolled my eyes, "Stupid" I let out and he grinned successfully making his point valid. "I feel so bad every time, I know you want to be with me" I stood up and looked for my underwear, "but that can't happen and you know why" I found my bra somewhere near the top of the stairs and put it on walking inside the room again. I grabbed a pillow and throw it at him, "cover up" I continued looking and found my thong and then put my dress back on. Then I sat down beside him and placed my hand on his thigh, "look I'm sorry, I really really am, and I don't know how many times I'll have to say this but I know it's not going to be enough, I don't want anything with you, other than just those amazing moments we spend while hanging out and sometimes I enjoy the sex too-" what the fuck was I trying to say? He was like the perfect thing and I was complaining and trying to look for reason as why we couldn't be together. I was not being successful at. all.
He frowned and I bit my nail. "I don't wanna be with you, I don't wanna be with anybody. But I don't wanna stop being friends with you, I like you that way, I like our friendship and sometimes other stuff, but I don't wanna lose a friend, not you" I said. He stood up and placed his boxers back on. "It's getting late" he said. Well shit, that was the only excuse available for me? Dana said the same damn thing. It was getting late for what? Fuck it. I made a face. "I think you should probably get going" he said. "It's only seven" "Its 7:30...You have work tomorrow" he said and looked away, I looked up at him and sighed, "You don't want me here, alright, I get it" I said almost whispering and then stood up walking out of his room going downstairs. I put my heels on and grabbed my purse. "Call me sometime?" I asked not being really sure if I was supposed to say that. He just looked at me, "Goodnight Jen, text me when you get home." He said and it broke my heart once again. He was so damn sweet, and I was just a bitch. I was breaking hearts here and there like if that was the best thing I knew how to do.
I drove back home and did as he told me.
"I'm home. Thank you for tonight❤️️" I hit the send button and I wasn't truly waiting for an answer but I got one. "Anytime" I sighed and laid down facing the ceiling. I was truly so stupid, I was screwing my friends, and they actually liked me, first Dana now Gino. Ugh. At least Gino still talked to me. I got under the covers and squeezed a pillow eventually falling asleep.
-
On Friday I was running a little late, I was tired and I couldn't leave my bed, it was raining and I was so cozy.
"Morning Brenda" she looked up and I could see how worried she was, I made a face, "I'm sorry, I had something to take care of" "It's alright, good morning" she said and smiled softly. I nodded and walked inside my office when I looked up I saw a figure of a woman holding a cup of coffee looking through the window. I raised my eyebrows smiling. It was Leah. "Someone's late" she said without turning around. "I'm sorry" I said and walked quickly over my desk dropping my things and walking over my usual place. "So Leah...Tell me how-" "I screwed her again" she said and sat down on the couch, "I drank all the alcohol I owned, I hate me." She said and smiled crossing her legs, "I can't do it" her smile faded away, "I can't keep myself away from alcohol, I can't stop fucking her, I just can't, and I'm sure as hell I'll get in trouble for that- a lot actually" I took a deep breath and looked at her. "What happened with picturing your mom?" "It makes me feel worse, it doesn't make me stop" she said. "Have you considered starting over?" "I got here not too long ago, so no, I haven't. I'm fucking lonely" she screamed. "Did it make you feel better?" "What?" She was lost. "Screaming...letting that out" "Maybe" hm... "Do you usually cry?" "Never" "Not true" I said, she frowned, "Yes it is" she protested, "The other day you broke into my office, and you were crying" I said and she bit her lip, shit. "So? What's the point?" "The point...well, the point is crying is also a good way to feel better. You let things out and that makes you feel better, you cry about it and that makes you feel better...We cry to let what we don't need out, it helps" I told her. "We are almost over and I have to write an inform about all these weeks, I need to know what's going on with you, what's going on in your head?" I took my glasses off and looked at her, "it's usually easy for me to know about it, but...it's been hard with you" "Let's start with this... I want someone who I can't have, I wanna be with someone I can't have"
Oh no...
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HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS❤️
V o t e 😬
