Leah's POV
I was running late, and it was all because I had to finish some paperwork and I overslept. Nice. Just perfect. When I was finally ready I got in my car and drove over the coffee shop close to Jennifer's office, I actually started drinking it when I parked at her office, well the building where the office was. Anyway...I was so tired, and I needed a moment to drink my coffee. When I was almost finishing, I saw a car parking in front of me, but a few spots away. I just stared at it just being curious. To my surprise, when the driver turned over, it was Jennifer, but she wasn't alone. She was with another woman. Maybe her sister or a fr- okay friends don't kiss on the lips... What the fuck? I almost choked on my coffee. The woman then held her hand and Jennifer looked over kind of panicking. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. They talked and then she let go of her hand and they started kissing again. "Oh my god" I yelled to that little scene that was happening. Well...I was getting the answers to my questions. The woman was lesbian, or bi...I don't know, but she was into women too and that was my concern. Nice...
When they walked inside I waited a few minutes and then got out of my car and walked inside. Today' sessions was going to be fun.
"Good morning" I said walking inside and closing the door behind me, I actually stood there looking at her. "Morning" she nodded and stood up straightening her dress and walking over her chair. "Come sit down" she said. I was so heated, I felt like yelling at her for not telling me she was gay, and most importantly, that she was dating someone. "So..." she started. "So...are you gay?" I asked and she looked up at me with her eyes wide open and muttered some words, well, those were not words... she then laughed nervously and ran her hand over her leg. "Why would you ask that?" She asked and I smiled..."Why is it such a big deal for you to tell me?" She then stopped laughing, her expression changed and she looked down clearing her throat. "Why would you ask?" She said and I grinned and shook my head. "So what are we gonna do today?" I asked dropping the subject. "Hmm...-"
She started talking, we talked about things at the office and then she made me do some sort of exercises to help me control my anger issues and stuff. When the time was over I truly felt like I had a good time. We laughed and for the first time in a few weeks I felt like sessions were worth it.
"I'll see you on Friday, have a good day" she said and smiled walking over her desk. I nodded and walked outside. When I was waiting for the elevator and it actually opened its doors the woman Jennifer was kissing walked out with some food bags in her hands. She was shocked to see me there, I kind of scared her and she then smiled at me, "sorry...good morning" she sweetly said and walked pass me to inside Jennifer's office. Yeah of course she had to be sweet.
I got in the elevator and l started thinking, as usual...
I actually wanted to tell Jennifer I saw her making out with another girl but I didn't wanna screw things even more so I just kept the thing to myself. I felt awful, I wanted her, but she wanted someone else and of course she had some sort of sympathy towards me. I hated that, I mean what's the point, like alright you gotta stop...
I was so...I don't know, I had mixed emotions...I wanted to run away... I laid down in my bed and stared at the ceiling like if I was expecting it to tell me what to do. I was over analyzing shit when I felt like talking to Jennifer again, as my psychologist. It was probably 7:00PM and I know it was crazy but did I care? Nope, so I grabbed my car keys and my purse and headed to her house. I was praying to heaven I wouldn't interrupt anything, I was praying she would be alone. When I got there I looked around and it was empty, the lights were on, so she was there but there wasn't any sight of someone else being there, I mean...another car.
I walked out and headed straight to her door knocking on it. I heard her laughing and the voice was getting closer and closer. She opened the door and then she saw me, I had a side smile. She was holding her phone up here face and then I heard a voice. "What is it, babe?" She held my arm and moved her phone, her eyes were begging me to stay quite. I bit my cheek and nodded. "I have no idea, mama, maybe it was just me hearing stuff" she closed the door letting me in first. "Oh my god, lock the door and just go to bed already, call me if you need anything, I love you" Every word hurt like a knife. "Alright, love you too, have a good night" Jennifer replied and then hung up letting her phone down on the table. "Now...are you still gonna tell me you're not gay?" I said looking at her and my eyes were glossy, why would I feel so bad? I mean...
"Leah..." "Just say it" "Damnit- yes I am, and I have a girlfriend" she said and that was it... I took a deep breath. "See? It wasn't that hard" I said trying not to show how I was feeling. "Leah" she said with this "I'm sorry" tone. "What?" "I'm-" "Don't even try" I said and shook my head. She looked so concerned. "Why did you come over?" To get hurt apparently. "I- I- it's not important anymore. I'll go now and I'll see you when I have to" I said and turned over. "Leah, please don't do this, just tell me" "I just feel like I came to you expecting to get better and this is about to end and I haven't felt worse than I do right now" I said trying not to cry, my feelings were so fragile sometimes, I tried my hardest to be tough but sometimes I couldn't. She didn't know what to say, she was panicking. "I-" She rubbed her forehead and then spoke, "is this because of me?" "It is because I like you so fucking much" I said and my voice cracked, "and I can't be with you, so it hurts and it makes me feel more miserable, I came to you to be fixed and I'm leaving even more fucked up" I finally said and I wasn't sure what was going through her mind at that moment. "No one can fix you but you, I was just trying to help, I didn't mean for this to happen, as I told you, I have a girlfriend...and I can't date a patient anyway..." "When did you start dating her?" I asked, I was curious. "Days ago we made it official...but she was my ex girlfriend so it's been a long time now" "So you were single when we kissed?" She nodded. "You should've told me" she said and I couldn't help but laugh. "What the fuck? Like...I tried? But you were stuck with that 'I can't date a patient' bullshit" she closed her eyes and walked over a barstool sitting there. "I better go" I said and turned over opening the door. "Leah, wait" she called my name but I just shout the door and got in my car driving as fast as I could until I got far enough from her house, tears streaming down. Out of the tons of people in this damn city, or fucking world, why her? I always had to deal with the hard bullshit...
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