AMACon 3: Oikos - Home

Agape - Chapter Two

Dei and Richard finally found a house that they could call home. The real estate agent knew instinctively what they were looking for; a quiet place not too far from the city, where Richard could take long walks or run if he felt well enough, and with a garden where Sebastian could play. It wasn't a big house but it was sturdy, enough to hold out during cold winters and storms, with enough routes leading to the hospital.

They moved in immediately after the sale was documented, and had fun decorating the interiors. Out here where there was fresh air, lots of greenery, Richard seemed to have gotten back his groove. He began to hope that there was a stretch of long years to enjoy with Dei, maybe even have one more child. He watched her attending to their son, never losing her composure, always a positive ray of sunshine. She caught him watching her and winked at him, asking Sebastian to wave at daddy while finishing his schoolwork.

When Sebastian was in his room sleeping, Dei joined him in the den, where he was watching TV. She sat down and put up her feet on his lap, prompting him to massage her tired feet. She stayed in the cafe with him today, helping him with the inventory and looking at the books. Their new food choices paid off, the cafe was getting more loyal customers after they introduced more full meals instead of just desserts.

"Tired?" He asked, his hands caressing her feet.

"Yeah, but worth it. The cafes are all doing well, who knows we can open a new one soon."

"What? No, I think 20 are enough, Dei."

"If you say so."

"Come here, I'll massage your back."

She switched position and turned her back on him. His long, graceful fingers worked wonders on her shoulders and back, easing the tense muscles and making her feel languid. She leaned against his back and held onto one hand, spreading his palm on her lap.

"You have incredibly long fingers, babe, you should have been a pianist."

She brought his hand up to her lips and kissed his palm, feeling him sweep her hair to one side and kiss her neck. She leaned her head to the other side to give him more access, one of her hands holding on to his nape.

"Dei, thank you."

"For what?"

"For saving me. For walking into the cafe that day, sitting beside me."

"Richard, I was stalking you. I made a plan to seduce you and make you mine, to have a baby with you."

"You make it sound so sinister. But what you really did was stop me from self-destruction."

"But it is what it is. I love you, I wanted to show you, to make you feel that love. It was naive of me to assume you'd feel the same way, but I hoped, you know. I always saw you as my hero. From the day I was born, you were already there for me."

"Still. Creepy or not, I'm thankful. I was looking for something I couldn't find and I got frustrated. After two tries at love, I failed. But now, look at what I have."

"Pffft. I'm no prize, Richard. I should be thankful that you love me back."

"You know we can argue about that but I'm not in the mood for arguing right now."

He lowered his lips to her neck again, nipping at the soft flesh, sucking at it while the tip of his tongue licked at the flesh in between his teeth. She turned her head sideways, her lips seeking his. Slowly, without breaking lip contact, her body turns till they are chest to chest, her legs going to his sides. He cradles her in his arms, body propped within the circle of his folded legs, his hands around her. Only their lips were touching intimately, but Dei's heart was beating a stacatto, her hands cradling his face. She breaks the kiss and is suddenly in tears.

"Dei, what's wrong?"

"I'm scared of losing you Richard. Please don't leave me." She clutched at his arms like a woman drowning, panicking at the thought of being alone again.

"Please try your darned best to get well. For me, Richard. For Sebastian. You think I'm strong but I'm not. I'm a fake. A coward trying to put it all together but I'm just....."

"Sssshhh. Dei. Let's enjoy the time we have together. People search for what we have, some die without finding it. Let's not waste it on lamenting the time left. We should be celebrating life. I love you, Dei. I have, for a long long time, way before you found me, way before I found you. You are my home."

He let her cry, she rarely ever makes outbursts like this and she deserved to let off steam. He knew he was leaving her, that he would be going first, but she didn't need to be told that right now. He felt the pain of regret, of wasting his life and not taking care of himself better. Had he followed the doctor's orders, took his medication religiously while his cancer was detected at its early stage, he would have had a better chance to live longer.

But when he saw her married off to someone else, he was so sure his life was as good as ended. He wanted to end it, he was just too lazy to plan a quick exit and die quickly. The mere thought of her being intimate with someone else, someone who was younger and closer to her age, more suitable for her, was enough to take him over the edge.

Now instead of him taking care of her, she was taking care of him. Stupid, really. So undeserving for Dei to take on a responsibility like this. From this night forward, he resolved to do something for her. He would try his darned best to be well even when he wasn't optimistic. He would take her wherever she wanted to go, do whatever she wanted to do, make her happy while he still could. Dei was still so young to suffer pain like this, he wanted her to find a home in him too.