мαdε ● иαмjσσи

Chapter 9

You went straight to home after work, you changed into your pajama before headed to the living room. You plopped on the couch, staring at the ceiling before closing your eyes and let out a deep sigh. Your eyes shot opened when you felt like someone sat on the couch beside you. Namjoon sat beside you but not closed, turned the TV on.

"Why you always let out a sigh?"Namjoon asked you while his eyes glued to the TV. You stared blankly at the TV before answering him.

"Just stressed out over nothing"

"Aren't you lonely in this house all the time?"

"It just the same like having a lot of friends but the loneliness still hugged you"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing"You said then you both fell in silenced, comfortable silenced.

"I talk to my mom about our divorce"You blurted out of nowhere make him froze for seconds before staring at you with hoping eyes that brought your heart to ached again. You knew that he wanted this marriage to end so badly so he can marry to Su Min and officially call Su Min his 'wife'.

"She didn't allowed me to"You said, you can see the sparks in his eyes immediately gone. He smiled slightly at you.

"I guess we're stuck to each other forever"

You didn't know whether to happy or sad, you should be happy since you stuck with him..Namjoon but yet it pain you to see him with his girlfriend loved each other when he didn't loved you. You hated being the wall in their relationship, you wanted him to be happy. You don't wanted to stuck with someone, in a marriage with someone else who not yours. You loved him even though you knew it too well that he's not yours only in marriage contract but not in his heart. His heart only for Su Min, he'll not give a room for you in his heart. All pieces of his heart is Su Min's and so does Su Min's heart belong to him.

"Yeah, it sucks"You said to him make him chuckled. You smiled to yourself, feeling so low and pathetic. Stealing someone else who is not yours will never leave a good result like they said. Your stomach growling like a mad dog make you flushed in deep crimson while Namjoon laughed out loud. You let out a sly smile to him. You stood on your feet, heading to the kitchen preparing dinner for both of you.

"Anyway, you don't need to cook dinner for me. I'm going to eat dinner with Su Min. If you okay with that?"Namjoon shouted from the living room. You chuckled darkly to yourself.

'Who am I to said a word about it? I'm his wife...why can't I protest like a normal wife should be. Right, I'm not his neither him. Life is such a cruel maze' You thought to yourself. You just cooked a fast and simple dinner for yourself since your stomach kept begging you to fill in.

You sat at the dining table and ate quietly as possible while your eyes attached to your novel like usual. If your mother saw you eating while reading book, she will definitely scold you for your family every meals time are important. That's when you guys will speak to each other, your mother make that routine so she wanted to know how the other are doing. Since your family always spent time alone, you in your room. Your sisters always go out but will come back every meals time. Your youngest brother spent time with your stepfather and leaving your mother alone without no one. Eventually she always depends on you. You're the only who hate to go out but you always spent your time in your room, if you can you don't even want to get out from your room.

Eating alone make you remind of your mother, how lonely to eat alone that's why she create the routine. It is lonely after all. A sigh escaped from your mouth, you stared at the book lifelessly. Loneliness took over your body again, your best friend came to greeted you again. You zoned out, you kept in touch with your imagination. You wanted to escaped from reality, the harsh reality.