His Substantial Downfall

chapter 33

PAUIE'S POV

"And then?" Chaabia ask. She's half Moroccan and half American, She became my friend and classmate in muslim law school here in Morocco. Now she's my comrade in public law firm here. I am not usually open about my past and first heartbreak. Chaabia didn't force to open this one but i think i am ready to face this.

"I left. I start here, i start to live and make a brand new me. It's fucking hurt chaabia, i left all important people their in our country for him, to forget and to forgive him."

alas kwatro na ng umaga ng kontakin ko si kevin para  makipagkita sakin. hindi ako makatulog at  hindi ko makalimutan ang nangyari kanina. Magkikita kami ng alas singko y medya dahil nasa ospital daw siya at may nangyari kay Chloe. 4:30 ng dumating ako sa meeting place namin sa isang coffee shop, sinadya kong maaga para makapagprepare ako sa pagkikita namin. maybe this is the right thing to do, i want to be selfish pero hindi tama, ayoko siyang pamiliin dahil ayoko masaktan. hindi ko napansin na lumipas na ang 5:30 at magaalas sais na pero wala pa rin kevin na dumarating. Naghintay ako ng dalawa pang oras ngunit wala ni anino ni kevin. Tulad ba to ng kapeng inorder ko? akala ko matapang kaya akong ipaglaban pero hindi pala, tulad din pala ng mainit na kape kapag pinabayaan lumalamig, hahaha takte! ang isang Ma. Aizhelle nagdadrama at humuhugot ng walang kakwenta kwenta?! i thought tomorrow is the  best day for me, pero bukas ang pinakamasaklap na mangyayari sa buhay ko. A nightmare. Makakalimutan din kita Kevin. dito sa coffeshop na to natapos ang mga alaala na kasama ka. Nagpabook ako papuntang morroco, and that night also is my flight bound to North Africa i dont have friends and family there, no one   knows who i am kakalimutan ko lahat. I will start brand new me. Agad akong umuwi para magimpake ayoko datnan nila mommy at daddy sa bahay, paniguradong marami silang  itatanong at hindi ako papayagang umalis. I need this space. I need this. Pasado alas dyes ng matapos akong magimapke at palabas na ako ng kwarto.

"Aizhele san ka pupunta?" Tanong ni manang

"Ah.. manang pakisabi kila daddy pagkadating tatawagan ko na lang sila  pagkadating ko sa pupuntahan ko"

"Huh? Bakit? Kasama mo ba si kevin?"

"Hindi po ako lang po"

"Kasal niyo na bukas iha, saan ka pupunta?"

"Basta po manang pakisabi po wag silang magalala tatawagan ko po sila agad" may sinabi pa si manang pero di ko na yun pinansin naghihintay na rin ang taxi pinatawag ko sa guard, alas siete pa ang flight ko kaya magchecheck in muna ko sa malapit na hotel sa airport para di nako magahol sa oras, quarter to 12 ng makarating ako sa hotel dala na rin ng traffic. Panigurado pauwi na pamilya ko niyan,i open my phone i received 5 sms 3 is from y friends 2 from kevin, he also have 5 missed calls

From: kevin
Pauie, im sorry hindi ako nakadating please answer your phone

From: kevin
Im fucking jakass! I know youre hurting im sorry baby, iloveyou but i cant avoid to hurt you. Please forgive me. I will always regret the day that i have caused you so much pain. Iloveyou every second of my life.

Liar. I closed my eyes and there, naramdaman ko na naman ang mga luha ko na tumutulo sa mukha ko. I texted my father to inform him ayoko magalala sila ng sobra, the wedding for tomorrow will surely the hot topic, but my father will do his best para hindi ito pumutok sa media. He did everything to make me happy to be married with the person i once wished to be my husband since i was a kid, but he shattered my dreams and heart into small pieces. I don't know when i can recover this pain. But now, i need space to grow, to have  rooms for hopes and forgiveness. Someday this pain will ease, i will laugh on this situation, someday...