Sidemen Imagines

• minizerk (4)

J O S H ' S  P O V ~

I stared at my reflection in the mirror, I didn't even know who I was anymore. All the bubbly life, I had in me was dead. I've lost my sparks, I'm left in the dark, all alone and no one is there to help me.

"Why do I keep doing this to myself?" I asked myself.

I felt the tears burning my eyes, I had scars on my arms from nights where I just hate myself, I didn't want to hate myself, I wanted to love myself.

Nobody could see that I was hurting except from my reflection, it was me that could see the pain hurting me. I let the tears roll down as I couldn't handle the painful feeling in my soul, I felt anger burn in me as I began to throw things onto the floor, I pulled the shower curtain down making it break and lastly I took a look at the mirror.

The more I try, the less it's working.

I screamed as I smashed my mirror with my fists feeling the glass cut my fingers and hearing the mirror shatter onto the floor. I sat down as I started crying again, I heard a knock on the door but I didn't want to open, the lock wasn't even locked.

Simon walks in and sees me in this state, he takes my arm and pulls me up as he takes me to his bedroom and sat me down on his bed. He looked at me, I looked away. He held my chin and made me look at him again.

"Nearly left the real me on the shelf!"

I watched him kneel as he looked deeper into my eyes, he saw I wasn't happy, he opens his arms as he takes me into a hug, I burst out crying as I just completely gave up on myself.

"Josh?" He said.

"Hm.." I hummed.

"It's okay not be okay, sometimes it's hard to follow your heart!"