Sidemen Imagines

• wroetomd (3)

sneak peak to my new book on 5th jan

I am Harry. I am 18 years and I live in London by myself. I have a stable job with a good pay but that's one side to my life. When I'm at home there is a whole another side to me, I am suffering with depression.

People around me doesn't understand what I'm going through, I don't know how to explain myself! I just lie through my teeth hoping they'll buy that concept but in reality I want help.

My depression is too much for me, I am a goner. I need help, I need help to take the demons out of my head. This all started when I was at school, there was two girls that picked on me - yes, two girls. They picked on me because I was gay. Everyone in my school including boys was praising me on my sexuality.

That night I came home, I throw my school stuff on floor and ran upstairs then walked to my bathroom, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw me.

I saw me.

I saw my ugly flaws.

In my head, they were picking out the flaws that I really disliked.

I could hear the laughs in my head from those two girls.

I saw a razor in the basket, I picked it up.

I looked at the sharp razor, I pulled up my jumper sleeve and I looked at my arm which was perfectly clear. There was no sign of a cut.

I started crying as I felt the pain, I had let this happen for 3 years. I put the razor close to my arm but I stopped as I looked myself in the mirror and spoke to myself.

"I AM A GONER!"

"NO ONE FUCKING LIKES YOU!"

"I WANT TO BE FUCKING KNOWN BY YOU!"

"WHY DO YOU STAY ALIVE WHEN NO ONE LOVES YOU?" I yelled as i grabbed the razor and slowly started cutting my arms.

look what you've done, you are such a failure.

I fell to the floor on my knees as I started hitting the toilet seat with my hand.