Xiumin
I waited at my bus stop as usual hoping that time would go faster. I regret telling Mary all those lies. If only she knew how I truly felt.
"Xiumin!" I turn and see Mary walking over to me. I slightly smile and wave to her. I should try my hardest to fall in love with her. I need to get over Truc. First loves don't last forever right?
I pull my hand out of my pocket and grab her hands into mine. I was sightly startled about how cold her hands were. They were as cold as ice. I place my hands over hers and lightly blow in her my hands to make them warm. I rub my hands over hers to warm them up and look up at her blushing face.
"Why are your hands so cold?" I say softly as I intertwine her hand with my mine and place it into my coat pocket.
She slightly shrugs and quickly glances at me.
"Did you do well for your science report?" She says and I give her a bright smile but why does it feel so fake?
"Yes, I did. Thanks to you," I say and she lightly laughs.
She starts to talk about something and I \zone out. Can't I fall in love with her quicker? Should I even be doing this to her? Why must I lie to fall in love? Wouldn't it be better if we were already in love?
"Xiumin?" I look at Mary and she's linked her arm with mine while worriedly looking at me.
"Are you okay? What's wrong?" She says. I give her reassuring smile and smooth down her hair with my free hand.
"Nothing. I just was just thinking about some stuff," I say.
"What kind of stuff?" She says and I begin to feel nervous.
"J-just thinking about how lucky I am to have you," I say and scratch the back of my neck.
She blushes and looks down the road to see the bus.
"The bus is coming," she says and lightly pulls my hand to the bus.
We get on the bus and my eyes instantly connect with Truc's. I begin to feel nervous and afraid. I haven't been answering her messages for the past few days and I know that she's mad but I can see that she's upset as well. Upset that I haven't told her about my relationship with Mary?
Jealous that all my attention isn't to her anymore? But Truc isn't like that. I start to feel bad that I haven't talked to her for the past few days but try to quickly brush it off.
She turns her head and avoids my eyes as I walk past her. I quickly glance at her while I walk past and I can see that's she hurt.
Mary and I sit in a seat near the back of the bus and she lays her head on my shoulder.
"I'm sleepy. Let me borrow your shoulder until we reach school," she says and closes her eyes. I lay my head onto her and hold onto her hand. I look down at our hands and start to feel regret again. An innocent girl who believes I like her when in reality I'm just using her. I look at her sleeping face and sigh. She deserves better than me but doesn't that mean I don't deserve Truc either?
****
Mary and I sit the cafeteria and I look around for Truc but I can't find her. Maybe she's with Hoseok but he isn't here today either. I wonder if they skipped school together. They probably did because they're dating. I take a grape from my plate and put it in front of Mary. She looks up at me confusingly and I nod my head for her to eat it. She shyly bends down and I put the grape into her mouth. She quickly moves back and blushes. I chuckle and see Stephanie walking over to us.
She stops and looks over at me and turns around and sits with her cousin Taehyung and his friend Baekhyun. I look over at the group and realise that Baekhyun is looking at us furiously. He sees that I'm looking at him and quickly turns away and gets up to leave the cafeteria. He stomps away and Taehyung and Stephanie exchange worried glances to each other. Does he like Mary?
"Xiumin, are you sure you're okay? You haven't touched your food," Mary says worriedly.
"I'm fine. Don't worry. It's just that I'm not that hungry," I say.
"Okay, if you say so," she says. "Hey, can you study with me after school? Finals are coming up so I thought that a study buddy would be helpful for me."
"Sure," I say. The bell rings and we get up to head out the cafeteria. We separate our ways and walk to out next classes.
I get my books from my locker and see Taehyung's friend walk out the boy's washroom. He sees me and starts walking over to me. I watch as he steps closer and closer to me but he surprises me when he walks passes me but stops and slightly turns to look at me.
"Do you really like her?" he says and my eyes widen.
Does he know I still like Truc? Does he know I'm just using Mary?
YOU ARE READING
complicated ♡ k.ms
Fanfiction"She's like a little sister to me," Xiumin says and ruffles my hair. I instantly feel heartbroken that he thinks of me a as little sister. I know I shouldn't but I can't deny my feelings for him. I feel heartbroken every time he says to people that...
