complicated ♡ k.ms

Chapter 30

Truc           

As soon as those words left my mother's mouth, I felt tears threatening to fall down my cheeks. I didn't want to cry in front of my parents so I walked off into my room. I just stood there in the middle of my room trying to absorb everything that just happened. Tears streamed down my face but I still kept a straight face. I felt like everything was crashing on me. Did everything have to happen now? Is this why my parents left to visit her? Because they knew she was sick and they didn't tell me or Lynh. I didn't know if I should be mad or sad right now. I was on the brink of madness.

Someone softly knocked on the door and I turned to open it to reveal my father. He looked at me with sadness in his eyes and I quickly rushed over to him. He engulfed me in a hug immediately and I cried into his chest while smoothed out my hair. I could feel his tears landing into my hair and I couldn't care less.

When I was younger, my parent were very busy with work and would often send us to our grandma's house once in a while which was a 4 hours' drive from here but one day when we were there they had left us there for a bit longer than usual. Usually my sister and I would stay for 3 days before leaving. Days went past then suddenly weeks also. We started to become worried about our parents but our grandma would always calm us down. She would always have many stories to tell us and we enjoyed her presence. I felt like she was more of a parent then my actual mother and father.

Most of my childhood was with my grandma but once Lynh was in high school, my parents allowed us to stay home knowing that Lynh was old of enough to take care of me. We had rarely visited my grandma which made me upset but I soon had forgotten about those memories and moved on with my life.

The last time I had seen her was probably a year ago when we visited her for her birthday. My sister and I had convinced our parents to visit her for a week. We didn't know it was going to be the last time we saw her.

We occasionally called on the phone but she had suddenly moved from her house to somewhere else that I didn't know about. Lynh had asked my mum if we could find out where she had moved and visit her but she had instantly said no and said that grandma had gone somewhere safer. Back then, I didn't understand what she meant but I have a feeling I do now.

"Why didn't you let us see grandma?" I say between sobs as I look up at my dad. He looked down at me and brushed my tears away.

"2 years ago your grandma was diagnosed with a terrible disease that badly affected her lungs. She didn't want you to see her in pain so she told us to not tell you. You know she loved you 2 dearly but she couldn't stand seeing you and your sister as she was on her death bed. It was too much for her," he says and I start to cry harder.

"Was she always in hospital?" I say and he slowly nods. Ashamed that he couldn't tell us sooner. That's when everything clicked. She didn't want to see us so she cut all connection with the two of us so she moved from her home to a hospital where our parents only visited her. She never answered our calls or called us because she didn't want us to hear her tired voice.    

My father brushed my tears away and hugged me. From behind I saw Lynh walking down the hall to her room. I quickly pulled away from my dad and ran to my sister. I hugged her and she stood still. Out of the two of us, Lynh was probably the closest with grandma because she was the oldest and would always love my grandma's company. My sister was happiest when we talked with my grandma or visited her but since she had gotten busier with life and had to study more for school, we didn't have time to go visit her. My sister wasn't her happy self when we hadn't visited our grandma but when she met Hoseok; she had finally become her normal self.

After the break up, she was a complete mess. She usually went out to drink by herself and I would always end up coming to her rescue because no one but me was usually home. I would usually ask her the next morning what was wrong but she would ignore me and go along with the rest of her life. I guess she was happier before this event when she got back with Hoseok. I could see that she was happier but now I don't know.

Lynh just stood as still as a soldier as I held her and cried into her arms. She wrapped her arms around me and comforted me but I couldn't do anything for her. She just stood there and comforted me. She suddenly let me go and walked into her room. I was shocked and waited for her to come out. She never closed the door so it must mean she was coming back out. After a few minutes, she walked straight out her with her bag and out of the house. No one stopped her. No one grabbed her or called after her. I just watched her leave the house and I just stood there and watched as my parents walk off to their room.

I slowly waked back to my room and into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. My eyes were blood shot red and puffy. My face was all wet from the tears and my cheeks stung like hell. I'm tired of everything. Finals are coming are in 2 days and I've barely studied. I've lost my best friend. The person who used to comfort me when I was down. He made me feel safe. He was my safe haven and now he's gone. Everything was ripping away from me. I felt like I was dying but a slow, painful death that was yet to end.