Xiumin
"I'm sorry about ditching you," I lift my head to look at Mary whilst she starts talking. We were eating in the cafeteria and I couldn't stop feeling anxious for later. I hope Truc read my letter already.
"I feel really bad about yesterday so do you want to make up for it today? We can study somewhere else if you want," she says. I wanted to quickly tell her it was okay and reject her offer but she went on.
"I feel like I forced you into this relationship and that you really don't like me at all. I confessed to you so suddenly when you didn't even know me well. You didn't even recognise me at the convenient store," she says with a nervous chuckle. "I feel like I'm not a good enough girlfriend for you and I felt bad for leaving you. I'm really sorr-."
I cut her off by putting a spoon of rice in her mouth and she looks a bit startled. I will feel really bad if I ditch her right now and go with Truc but I will also feel bad if I leave Mary. I can't do this to my own girlfriend but I can't do that to my best friend either. I don't know who to pick. I sigh as I know what I'm about to say will leave me regretting things later but either way, I would feel guilty.
"No one forced me into this relationship except for my interest in you," I say and I mentally punch myself for lying. All these lies and misunderstandings are hurting this girl's feelings and she doesn't even know it. "I like you so don't worry about those kinds of thoughts." She slightly blushes and I put my hand on her hers which is placed on the table next to her tray. She smiles at me and I smile back with a bit of pity. I'm sorry Mary.
"So will you come with me later to study?" She says and I begin to feel nervous.
Even though I've confirmed my 'relationship' with Mary, it doesn't mean I can avoid this problem. I really need to talk to Truc but I can't let Mary down. I need to make up for all the crap I've done to her. She will be in so much pain when she finds out about this. Our relationship was based on misunderstandings that I wish she will never have to find out but I know she will.
I come up with a solution which will still leave me in regret but all the words come out of my mouth like word vomit.
"Let's go to the library," I say and smile at her. I'm sorry Truc. Please forgive me.
****
I walk out of my last class and go to my locker to grab my things. I look down the hall and see Truc rushing to her locker and quickly grabbing her things into her bag. She must be as anxious as me but I'm letting her down, again. I feel bad and I want to walk up to her and tell her everything but I can't. My feet stay stuck on the ground as I watch her grab her things and rush out of the school while still trying to look cool. She was always like this. Always so cute.
I walk down the corridors and see Mary standing with someone. I realised he was Baekhyun and tried to look calm. I slowly walked over to them and saw Mary turn. She says bye to him and walks over to me.
"Sorry I took so long. I was trying to find my books," I say. What a lame excuse, Xiumin.
"It's okay. I wasn't waiting long. Let's go study before we have no more time," she says and grabs my hand. We both start walking and I could feel someone giving me deathly glares at the back of my head. I tried to brush off the feeling and be in the moment with Mary.
"I can't believe finals are tomorrow. I'm so nervous even though it isn't our final one, I can't help it," Mary says as we reach the library.
"Let's do our best," I say with a reassuring smile.
"I wonder how the seniors must be feeling right now. They must be ten times more nervous than I am."
Oh yeah, Yoongi. I can't believe he's going to graduate soon. I should tell him good luck later.
We go in and sit by a table and start studying. We studied for at least for four solid hours before we realised how late it was. Time really can go fast.
"The bus should be here in 2 minutes," Mary says while putting her phone away. We wait in silence as we waited for the bus. We really didn't need to talk but the silence felt kind of awkward which I never once had with Truc. Was it because of me? Am I making things awkward? Should I try making conversation?
The bus suddenly comes when I start thinking of those things and I say bye to Mary before leaving. I start walking home and walk past Truc's house but I'm suddenly surprised to see Hoseok walking out. What was he doing there? Visiting Truc? Or Lynh? But didn't Lynh run away or something.
Hoseok turns and sees me staring at me but his facial expression quickly goes from calm to a deadly glare. I gulp and look down nervously. Does he know about the situation too?
"You," he suddenly says and I try to calmly look back at him. He starts walking towards me and I begin to feel more nervous than I already am. Today was not my day.
"We need to talk, right now."
YOU ARE READING
complicated ♡ k.ms
Fanfic"She's like a little sister to me," Xiumin says and ruffles my hair. I instantly feel heartbroken that he thinks of me a as little sister. I know I shouldn't but I can't deny my feelings for him. I feel heartbroken every time he says to people that...
