Weeaboo Horror Stories

You're NOT a Keyblade Master!

Cast: Vi and Ka (friends of mine), Ke (weeb), Re (weeb’s sister)

I hadn’t really thought about it until recently, after finding this blog, but I have just remembered that I had an encounter with a serious weeb who didn’t know where the border between real life and anime/video games was.

When I was eleven, I transferred to a new middle school.  I had managed to make a small circle of friends, two of the closest ones being Vi and Ka, both boys.  One day, they introduced me to Re, whose older brother also attended the school and was in the same grade as me.

I soon found that this would be a big weeb encounter.

Re’s brother, Ke, was at first a pretty nice guy.  He would greet me with a smile and occasionally a hug (I like hugs), and at first I thought nothing of it…until he learned that I liked Kingdom Hearts.

Back then I was a weeb myself.  I wore a Naruto headband to school, I wore Yu-Gi-Oh shirts, I had nothing but anime opening themes on my MP3 player, and everything.  But I was NOTHING compared to Ke.  Ke would quote Kingdom Hearts whenever he was able, insisted on calling me Riku and insisted I call him Sora (and even made ‘dog tags’ that we were all supposed to wear with the names of different characters on them), and one day while I was walking to school grabbed my hand and insisted we act out the scene in KH2 when Sora and Riku blast Xemnas with a blast of light from a Keyblade.

I was in the same home room as Ke, but not with Vi or Ka, who I would meet with at lunch and sit with.  They weren’t safe from Ke either.  Ke called Vi Axel all the time, and would call Ka Saix.  We tried not to think anything of it, until one day he grabbed a yardstick a teacher left in the cafeteria and started swinging it around, thinking he was a Keyblade Master.  Re, who had the same lunch shift as us, tried to stop him and tell him to put the yardstick down, which almost worked until he hit me in the head with the damn thing.

Seeing that he ‘hurt Riku’, Ke dropped the yardstick and apologized profusely.  As I was a nice and forgiving girl (yep, I’m a girl who was called Riku), I shrugged it off and assured him I was fine.

That was a mistake, and I should have told Ke right there to leave me alone.

After that incident, his insistence that I was Riku got worse.  He would oftentimes grab my arm and ‘help’ me to the door like Sora carried Riku during the last few scenes of KH2 (this included grabbing the belt loops on my pants), he NEVER called me by my real name, even when a teacher was referring to me, and he would ask me ‘what was it like beyond the door to darkness’.

I somehow persevered to the end of the school year, and when eighth grade started, I saw neither hide nor hair of Re or Ke.  Ka had also moved, sadly, but Vi was still there, which I was happy for.

The last thing I had heard about Ke was that he got himself hospitalized because he thought he was a ninja or something.  I think it was just a rumor, but with how he acted?  I highly doubt it.