Weeaboo Horror Stories

The Persistent Weeaboo

So... How do I start? Well... It started sometime in the school year. The weeb, who we will call F, started out by acting pretty hostile. She started commenting on my makeup, which I didn't wear much of : BB cream and concealer and that was it for school, and claiming that it'll ruin my skin or something that old-fashioned people say to make kids stay away from makeup. She started bragging on how she took manga classes and knows all the hiragana and katakana... Though her drawings look like bobbleheads from hell, that's what my classmate said. She goes on by introducing herself in Japanese when class started, really butchered Japanese too... One time, she took her notes in hiragana ENTIRELY. I know for a fact, if you do that, it'll end up illegible.

Odd turn of events, we become friends kinda... That was about the same time as my transitioning (I am FTM transgender, that kind of transitioning) so I cut my hair short and wear hoodies to hide my chest and all that. She turns really weird... Like, creepy weird... She starts comparing me to Itachi (I don't watch Naruto) and says I should be her lesbian (she says tomboy but that's what we call lesbians here) and I can't tell her I'm trans because my school is religous as frick. I'm not interested either! I like someone else and I tell her that. Let's call the person I like, B. So B and I are really good friends and we consider ourselves "married", unofficially and platonically but still married. And I tell F that I'm married and she goes (sorry for the albeist language) crazy. She starts asking for my wedding ring, wedding certificate, person I'm married to. And I tell her that I'm married to B and he's great and all that I even show her a picture online. She starts going on about how he's a shota and how she wants to marry a person who looks like an anime character too. She starts getting mad at me because "An anime looking person can't marry another anime looking person! That's being selfish!". She goes on about how I should marry her instead and how she can make her parents understand that she's married to a girl- my dysphoria can't take at this point and I just walk away.

The next day, she comes back like nothing happened. Now I'm chill with that and we keep talking. At some point, I reach in my bag and get some E-ma because I want to eat candy. (e-ma is Japanese candy BTW... it's really yummy) She sees it and squeals as she tries to grab it from me. I quickly shove it back in my bag and hold my bag to my chest. She starts shaking me and asking me where I bought it and I tell her that my aunt gave it to me. Which was the truth, my Aunt lives in Nagoya and sends me candy and stuff. We get to a conversation about my aunt and I tell her that my aunt lives in Nagoya. BOOM. I get punched. She punched me because my aunt lives in Japan. She tells me to go on and I tell her how she works in Japan and is married to a Japanese guy. BOOM. Punch number two. I was stupid enough to keep going because she urged me to and we get to the topic of her kids... Her half-Japanese kids. At this point I'm on the ground in a fetal position because she just keeps going with the punches. She also keeps screaming some extremely butchered Japanese swear words.

The next day. THE NEXT FREAKING DAY, she glomps me in class and starts going on about how we would get married and move to Nagoya with my aunt. Like, what???? You beat someone up and them you start going on about how we'll live happily ever after?! This isn't Fifty Shades of Grey, honey, get over yourself. I stand up, tell her AGAIN that I'm married and walk away.

The next week rolls in and apparently she told EVERYBODY she knew that I was gay for her and that I was obsessed with her. Hah, you wish. Most of my classmates think that I'm dating my best friend C so nobody paid a lot of attention to her. The other class, however, believed every word she said and now calls me lesbian or Miley Cyrus (I don't really mind being called Miley Cyrus, she has nice hair).

Fast forward to the last day of school, I greet everyone good riddance because I hate them with a burning passion and say goodbye to a few people I consider friends. I start heading to my dad's car when she grabs my wrist, makes me face her, and she tries to kiss me. I move fast enough and she ends up falling to the floor. I raise her the middle finger and walk away. Hopefully, that's the last I'll see of her because I'm switching schools. I never want to see her ever again