The Letter from James (COMPLETED)

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Quiante

I was still upset with Korryn. I couldn't believe she never told me that. What if I wanted our baby? What if it was a girl or boy? What if that would've brought us even closer and she would've never left for Texas? What if it would've broken us up? I don't know but I don't know if I can ever forgive her for this. I don't think I'll let her go because I love her but I know we probably gon need therapy or some other shit for this. I'm supposed to be this hard ass nigga and I'm being a bitch. I need to toughen up and show some support to my future wife, especially with all the shit she going through but I don't know if I can talk to her right now.

"Baby.....Baby....please talk to me...you've been quiet ever since I told you what happened." She said, just as I finished my thought.

"Man what do you want me to say Korryn? You aborted my child...you didn't love me enough to tell me that? You didn't love me enough to let me decide if I wanted to be parent....you just did it and didn't think twice about it." I said, out of anger.

"I know Quiante but don't turn on me. You're all I got left in this world.....you're it! Like what would I do if I didn't have you....I would be lost and be somewhere dead." She said, looking me in the eye.

I gently grabbed her chin and softly kissed her lips. I felt some of the anger release in that kiss. As I pulled back, tears began to flow down her eyes. She's just been going through so much that I think she couldn't even help it.

"I'm never gonna turn on you. You're mine until we both die but baby you hurt me....I don't know if I can ever let this go. I don't mind making another baby and making love to you all day and night but how do I know you won't up and have an abortion again?" I said.

"Quiante, I'm in this for the long run...ain't no more abortions, ain't no more leaving, ain't no more doing anything that's against you or doing anything that would harm you in any way. I know I love you and now that I have grown up a little more, I have come to accept my mistake. I regret everyday since that day. I regret aborting OUR baby. I want it back so bad and I wish we would've raised it together, but I was too focused on me. But that will never happen again...I promise." She said.

I believed her but I don't know if that convinced me enough to make me think she was trustworthy again. I will definitely find her trustworthy again but as of right now, I don't know what to believe.

"Actions speak louder than words, Korryn." I said, in such a cold tone.

I think I took her by surprise by the way I was acting but who could blame me? She aborted something that belonged to BOTH OF US. But she only thought about herself and her wants and "needs". I just can't even deal with Korryn the way I need to right now.

"You know what, imma give you some time to cool off. I'm going to funeral home and plan this funeral. I need some closure about something in my life, whether you're here to help me or not." She said, getting up very angrily.

She grabbed her purse and phone and walked out the door without turning back.

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Korryn

I couldn't believe the cold shoulder Quiante gave me. I apologized and I knew that wasn't enough but there was nothing else I could do...the damage was done. But I had to leave before he or I said something we would both regret.

I pulled up to the funeral home and walked in. I walked straight to the secretary and said I need to begin the arrangements. My family isn't going to help, it's just going to be me.

She nodded and brought me to a room with caskets and headstones and cremation boxes and other things needed for the burial.

I chose a white and gold casket. With a modern, yet my momma's style head stone. I chose the lining that said: mother and had a scripture on it. I chose everything I needed to prepare for my mom's funeral. It was paid for by her insurance. We had her funeral at her church: St. John the Baptist: Baptist church of God in Christ. We set the date for Saturday and that was left to do was type the obituary and put it in the paper.

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I left the funeral home, thinking about Quiante. I always planned on tell him but never had a chance to. I went back to his house and sat down. I went and grabbed the computer, one of the only things left after the robbery, and began to type out my mother's obituary.

Jane Heather Grey Bynam, age 45, was a loving wife, mother, sister, and soon-to-be grandmother. She was born January 7th 1971 to the late Graham Grey and the late Judy Grey. She was a native of Baton Rouge, La and was devoted to and love her community. Jane was called home on August 13th, 2016. She is preceded in death by Graham Grey, Judy Grey, Gary Grey (paternal grandfather), and Judith Harris (maternal grandmother). She leaves to cherish her husband, Korey Bynum, her children: Korryn and Kasey Bynum, her paternal grandmother: Helen Bynum, her maternal grandfather: Justin Harris, sister: Karrie (Harry) Hollis, brother: Grand Grey, and a host of nieces, nephews, and cousins. The funeral arrangements will be held at St John the Baptist: Bapitist church of God in Christ on 4356 Windowview Ave., Baton Rouge, La. 70819. The viewing will be Friday, August 26, 2016, 7-9pm at the Paul Davis funeral home and Saturday, August 27, 2016, 9-11am and the funeral will begin at 11am.

I sent it off to the Preadvocate and closed the laptop. It will be posted August 24th-27th. I felt nothing but despair writing this. I couldn't believe my mother, my rock, my best friend was truly gone. I miss my mom and wish I can talk to her right now. But I can't. I love her with all my heart and wished she was here to talk about this pain I'm going through with Quiante and despite how much I wanted to let her go, Kasey.....I miss my lil baby and I want her to know that I love her no matter how many times I said, I'm done. I just needed help from my mom and that was something I could no longer get. I put the laptop on the edge of the broken glass table, laid on the couch, and began sobbing.

Thanks for reading. Sorry about any grammatical errors. Vote, Comment, and suggest. As always: LOVE, PEACE, AND HAPPINESS!!! ~ L