my heart wasn't like this before (jelsa) (genderbend)

(Chapter 36) The pain that never left

~~|~~
Jackie's pov

"Jackie, what has gotten into you?" My mother asked as they cornered me in the living room, when I was about to leave to go back to them.

I don't know mom, I just don't know, anymore.

"And where do you keep running off to? You once even din't come back for a full day, and coming back the next day on an afternoon. Don't you know, how worried we were at that time?" My father asked with a stern, and strict look.

To the Arendelles. To my fiancé. I over stayed, because I couldn't help myself. Yes, I know from the very start, when I started developing this habit of going to wherr they're staying.

"Jackie. Are you mad at us, because we forced you to get married with him." I stayed silent as I bowed my head.
"I know, you probably don't love him.... I know, It's hard for you."

"I don't even know, If I love him or not, anymore." I said as I felt my heart beat faster. "I thought I hated him.... but I just can't keep him away from me."

"Sweetie, do you want to go back to Norway? Do you want to go back to your fiancé?" She asked as she lifted my chin to make me look at her.

"I've been seeing him." I whispered, which made them confused.

Everyday.... even though I had something else to do. I still want, and willingly go see them.

"I can't help myself, anymore. Mom! I don't even know myself, anymore! It's like I'm not even myself, anymore." I mumbled the last part.

"Sweetie. Do you love him or not?"

"I told you.... I don't know."

~~|~~
Snow's pov

I looked out the window. Strange. It was raining at this time of night? Today is quite odd.

Jackie din't come here. Is there something more important, then the other things she's been doing, that she can't come today? No matter, when she comes here again and when we ask her, what have you been doing, she answers them truthfully and then we asked, why did she come here, If she needed something to be done. She pauses for a moment, and then we end up doing that thing for the day she's here.

I wonder, what is so important, then the rest of the things she's suppose to do?

I turned my head to the platinum blonde man sitting on the couch, while probably texting his brother. He suddenly stopped, putting the phone down, and looking at me.

"Something bothering you or is it just my feet on the couch?" He asked as he ran his hand through his hair. "Or is it just my fiancée?"

"There's never a 'just' with her, and you know that for yourself." I said as I crossed my arms, he let out a sigh.

"Okay, fine. Would you be happy If I said 'I love her'?" He asked as he tilted his head at me.

"No, I would be happy If I got a true, and straight answer from you." I said, raising my voice a little. "Not some 'I love her' cliché lie from a jerk playboy. I want from you a straight answer, the real you. 'I truly love her' or 'I don't like her like that.' A 'yes' or a 'no'."

"You're seriously bringing this up, again?"

"Now, don't try and change the subject! I want from you a-"

"Straight answer, I know." He said finishing my sentence. He then looked at me like 'he's saying that this is unfair' look. "But don't you think It's unfair for you to just let it go from her with a simple 'I don't know'?"

"So, you heard."

"Of course, I did. Our house has everysingle corner with hidden cameras, except in our rooms. What did you think, I din't choose any of our guest rooms for her, but used our old room?"

"For one thing. I was surprized, when you choose 'the promise tree' for that conversation with her, since I thought you wanted it to be private, sister, because I know perfectly, that you know where everysingle cameras were placed."

"So? I wanted you to take that hint, I don't want you doing such stupid things just to know what her feelings are for you!" I yelled. "I don't want either of you getting hurt! That's the reason why I pretended to act stupid, like I worship you like a King or something. If I din't know the real you, I would of just let her pranked you."

"So, you're revealing your true nature now? It's been awhile, since I've seen that angry face of yours." He said as he stood up from the couch. "The one, that doesn't like the attitude I'm putting on ever single day."

"Because! You're just doing this, because you're angry with yourself! You believe that It's your fault! If you would have just forgotten or just forgiven yourself, you would have been a better person!" I then saw him raise his hand, he then swing his hand to slap me. I closed my eyes to get ready for the impact.... but It never came.

I opened my eyes to see him standing there with his hand only an inch away from my cheek.

"You really are playing rough. Hitting me where it hurts." I knew, he wasn't talking about his pride. If it was some random other person they would of thought he was talking about his damn stupid pride.

His hand fell back to his side, while his other hand put his hair back. He cracked a smile at me.

"You just don't know, sis. How I felt back then, I still remember the feeling." He said as he looks at the ceiling, but almost emmediatly turning back to me. "As a matter of fact, I still feel it till today."

"Brother, you don't have to live with this pain."

He then looked down at me with a wide smile. "Who said I have too?"

I choose to be in pain

~~|~~

I feel like binge writing this now, while I'm just gonna ignore my other books.