Recalling Reality

Chapter 30

When I follow Shane into the country home, I look around at the place I escaped from not that long ago. This was not my home, nor do I recall this place. But, he insisted on bringing me here.

And it's a nice place. The living room is wide open, a large television hangs on the wall and there is a huge sectional that horseshoes in the room. Across from the TV, the wall is littered with photographs. Large pictures, and small. Singles and frames that are molded together to make collages.

I step up noticing the main centerpiece. It's about twenty photos grouped together. Some smaller, but the middle photo is the largest. It is of Shane and me. Together. He is donned in a black tux, the jacket hanging open and his mauve tie loosened around his neck. In his arms, looking right back at him, is... me?

My hair is up in a fancy hairdo with some curls escaping around my face, a signature that apparently I have to have my hair styled for everything. The makeup that I can see that covers my face is elegant and precise, just enough to enhance my features. And I am wearing... a white dress that has a sweetheart top, and has a beaded, sparkly design that I can barely see.

A wedding dress?

"I don't understand. If you are married, then why am I in the photo here?" I step back, my heart pounds harder. Something is different. Something is very wrong. I never married Shane. We spent an amazing time together, but that was as far as we went. That was all we shared.

"I don't know what to believe, Hannah. I've had a long day. I'm going to lay down." He slips his black boots off at the door and retreats down a hallway, the same hallway I scampered out of on my way through the unfamiliar home.

"Something's not right here, Shane." Instead of chasing after him, I look over the other photos in the grouping hoping something would tell me what was going on.

Right in the bottom corner was one with the man who I jumped out of a plane with, and Shane beside him, holding up bottles of beer. My heart jumps seeing the photo of Ryan, but why? It's telling me something about this particular man, and I can't figure out what.

The front door opens and my mom walks in with worry deep in her eyes and her hair much shorter than what I've seen before. Right beside her is a young girl, five at the most, with a head full of dark curls. Just like the beautiful little girl who visited me in the hospital.

"I remember you! You came to visit me in the hospital!" I pull away from the photos and watch a tear roll down the little girl's angelic face. "Do your parents know where you are?"

"Hannah?" Mom clears her throat and sends the little girl down the hall and to the room where Shane disappeared in. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean, what's going on? Everyone is being different and Shane... well, he hates me, and I am sure his wife does not approve of me being her..." I look at the pictures, and then back at her. Her eyes are opened wider and her lips are pressing together in a thin line. "What the hell is going on? I don't understand why I am the one who everyone is treating like I've lost my mind."

"I need you to sit down and talk to me."

"No. I went to your place and there is some weird chick living in your condo, and she said that you don't live there. I go to Shane's place, and Taylor tells me that Shane's hasn't lived there in over five years. Not to count, there is some older version of Gabe who apparently thinks he can play basketball there whenever he wants." Tears pack into my eyes and I move to the next set of photos. This grouping was of a woman holding a baby in her arms, a woman who I can't see her face, but I do get a hint of dark curls that hang down her left shoulder. "If he is married, and has a daughter, then why in the hell did he play me? Huh? I loved him, Mom. I loved him so much."

"Honey, I think I need to get you into the doctor. Why don't you lay down and get some sleep. It's been a long day-"

"A long day?" I snort out a laugh and brush away a few escapees from my cheek. "What I need is for someone to give me some damn answers to what is happening here."

"Something is wrong."

"I know!" I point at the photo of Shane and me posing in the wedding photo. "This woman... Who is this? And why does she look like me?"

"Because that is you." Her hand rests on my back as she guides me over to the couch. "There was an accident, Hannah."

"I know! I know!" I close my eyes and the first memory that floods through is my eyes opening and I look down to see that apparatus blocking my mouth. The sensation of not being able to breath increases my heart rate, and my breathing is actually picking up. Though my lungs are not wanting to take on so much, and they are trying to restrict how much air I can take in. "I was in the hospital, and that little girl came to visit..."

All the air rushes from my lungs and I straighten up. Turning to the hallway, I see the little girl standing by the door in the darkness.

"You're Shane's daughter. You are Shane's, and that was what he was hiding from me." But, she's so innocent and I hate the fact that he could do something like that to a sweet little girl. I mean, this little angel came in my hospital room and prayed for me. He brought her to the hospital and let her pray for me knowing damn well that he was married and he had a wife.

"Hannah, I need to explain a few things to you." Mom sits beside me and her finger slips under my chin, turning my attention back to her. "There was an accident."

"Yes, I remember." I close my eyes to block the hot tears from coming forth, but it's impossible to stop them. "Quinn hit me with his car the morning after his wedding. I'm not mad. And I am not hating him for it."

"I need you to listen to me." She licks her lips and the thoughts are scattering through her mind. "That was..."

"Five years ago, right?" I leap up from my seat and pace across the living room floor. Ryan knew everything, and Ryan could tell me what's all going on. He was Shane's best friend, but he never hid anything from me. And he was the one who stood up for me when Shane's ex was pulling all her drama stuff right before the wedding. "Let me call Ryan and see if he will come over and explain why everyone is acting so crazy."

"Yes, that was five years ago. And you..." Her eyes glass over as she tips her head and folds her fingers together in her lap. "You almost didn't survive that. The doctors were sure you were going to die. And Shane... And Quinn..."

"I remember Quinn visiting me in the hospital. He sat in there a few times. I remember that."

"He... He is no longer with us, Hannah." Tears rain down her face and her eyes finally come back up to meet mine. My heart sinks hard trying to patch together what she just said. How could Quinn's running me over with his car have anything to do with him dying? He was just in the hospital with me a few days ago.

"He moved? His bitch of a wife take him away?"

"Actually, he..."

"Uncle Quinn went to heaven." The little girl walks out of the hall holding her pink and purple blanket tight to her little chest. "I didn't meet him, but Daddy talks about him all the time. He says that's how we remember the ones we love who have to go to heaven early."

Mom wraps Shane's little girl up in her arms. "Right after the wedding, and you were in the hospital, Quinn's wife decided to walk away from him because he wasn't able to handle what he did to you. He took his life shortly before you were released from the hospital."

My heart shattered instantly, my air left my lungs with a blazing inferno trail, and my legs wobbled. "What?"

"He killed himself, Hannah. He was there when the doctor told us that you had a ten percent chance to live. He couldn't live with himself." She cuddles the girl to her and manages to pull her pain back. "We never saw it coming. He was fine. We told him over and over that it wasn't his fault, but how can you tell him that after he hits you with his car?"

"Quinn would never... And I just saw him... He sat with me while you were out of town working..." My throat is dry and I can't even swallow.

Quinn would know I would never blame him for the accident. It was just as accident. I stepped out in the street without looking. Why would he take his own life for something like that?