We as Humans

Tv.

Alternately named Me Me Me and The Ultimate Concern.

I am obsessed with myself in the dangerous and kind of gross way people become obsessed with reality tv. I don't really like it and I find many flaws in it, but I can't say I hate it because it brings me some hollow joy and interest and I find myself spending many hours on it.

It being both myself and reality tv.

However, I wouldn't say I feel a strong connection to myself or feel that I am all that important. Yet I still spend a selfish and entirely pointless time analyzing myself in a sick and experimental, inherently self-absorbed, way. I want things to be interesting and happy, but I don't think I care that much over all about the depth and future.

Thus, I don't think I am my ultimate concern.

One thing about me that probably only people who read this book will ever know is that

A.) I write poetry and strongly recognize that I will someday, probably sooner than later, hate my young self for this.

And B.) seem to enjoy philosophy that makes me doubt myself as a human.

John Green brings up the idea of an ultimate concern. This being the thing we as an individual care about more than anything. In most parents case this is their child and in an evolutionary case this should probably be ourselves.

But for a species capable of suicide, ourselves is not a certain ultimate concern. Nor are children for people of a certain age or group. This poses the question;

What is your ultimate concern?

In my case, it may be my state of current interest. You see, I am self absorbed. As are most people in my position. And while I may not have any care about my end or any faith in my importance or even like myself or hate myself, I care about my current state to an extent.

My current state is the thing I obsess over and analyze constantly and wish for things to short term change in like an episode of a tv show that you can't quite get over in a series that you don't follow. So, in conclusion, my ultimate concern may just be how I currently am.

By this I mean, am I happy on the surface or pretty and also how well am I holding a facade and how much better am I doing and more interesting am I than other people at the moment?

Another question is should we have an ultimate concern?

I don't have much on this. In a scientific way I guess to continue as a species as previously mentioned it should be our survival and our offspring's survival. Emotionally, I don't know.

I have become increasingly alarmed at how much I compare my life to a tv show and what that says about the way I view myself even though I probably already know the answer. I will evaluate that now.

Because that is my ultimate concern.