The Bucket List

i came to see you

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I came to see you."

I remain quiet.

"Look, why don't we sit down or something?" Kevin says, and so I go over to the table and sit down after putting on a pot of coffee.

"So, is there a reason you look totally different?"

"No." I lie.

"No reason at all that your hair isn't dark brown and you're not wearing all black?"

"No." I lie again.

"It would have nothing to do with the fact that changing your look was... number nine on your list?" He says, scanning over the paper which he had just pulled out of his pocket. Still, I remain quiet. "Morgan, I don't mean to patronize you, or intimidate you, honestly, I wouldn't want to do anything of the sorts, but, I seriously can't shake the feeling that this is happening to you." I grab two mugs from the cabinet and fill them with coffee as I bring one over to him.

"So what? You never cared about me before this, what is this sudden realization that maybe I actually have feelings, or that maybe there's actually something going on in my life?"

"Well when you put it that way it sounds bad. But I guess maybe it was fun messing around with you, and now that this is happening I don't want to be that guy."

"I'm still the same person I was! You were never supposed to find out, okay? Just because something such as this is going on doesn't mean I've changed."

"And I get that, it's just that, I have, and I don't want you to die hating me. Because, like I said before, I actually don't hate you."

"I don't want you to pretend to be someone you're not!"

"Was dying your hair something that someone like you would do?"

"What does my hair have to do with this?"

"You're changing, Morgan. You may not realize it, but you are. So old Morgan wouldn't have changed her hair, much like old me would mess with you all I wanted. But I'm not like that anymore."

"But why?"

"What?"

"I had a reason to change. What's yours?" He goes quiet for a second.

"Maybe it's that I don't want to see one of my best friends die when she has so much to live for." He says quietly.

I thought in that moment to hug him, but I would never cry in front of him and that's what I was about to do, so I get up and wipe under my eyes with a tissue.

"Morgan, are you okay?"

"I think you should go."

"What?"

"I said, I think you should go."

"But Morgan, I-"

"For fucks sake, Kevin. Please get out. I've had a rough day and I need some time to think and calm down. You can come back later if you still want to talk, or maybe tomorrow. I'll see you then." I say, and begin to head upstairs to finish cleaning and reorganizating, and probably cry.

I thought that maybe Kevin could have been messing with me at first, but after some of the things he said, I knew he would have been telling the truth. I decide to play some music to take my mind off of it.

My phone buzzes, and I pick it up. It's a text, from a number I've never seen before.

Hey, I know you're mad. I still want to talk. I'm coming back later. Wear something cute ;)