The Bucket List

prom?

Eight o'clock.
Three hours later.
Sitting on a random park bench, curled up on my phone, stalking Ashley and Emily's Instagram profiles.

Why?

Because I still can't get over Kevin.

I've tried not thinking about him. I never wanted to like him. But now that he knows I do, there's nothing stopping him from being the only thing on my mind, the only thing I care about.

I hate that I think that I love him.

I told Liam I wouldn't be any later than eight. And he's probably starting to get worried, so I decide to get up and walk home. I'm not too far. Maybe only about five minutes.

My phone goes off and for once, I hope it's not Kevin. I don't want him to be worried about me.

Thank God; It's Liam.

Where are you?

I'm on my way.

I continue walking and soon reach my house, and quietly open the door.

"Hey." Liam says, "how are you feeling?"

"Better. Still shitty, but better."

"Would Mexican food help you feel better?" He asks, and I glare at him. He holds out a takeout container and I grab it.

The heat from the container burns my hands so I set it down on the table as Liam hands me a fork.

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"Were you on the phone with Kevin before I left?" He's quiet for a second.

"Yeah."

"What were you guys talking about?"

"He was worried about you."

"Why? He's the one who hurt me."

"I know, but Morgan, I really don't think you should give up on him just yet."

"Why?"

"Well, for one thing, the lack of antidepressants made you act more sad than you actually were."

"I don't think that's the case."

"How so?"

"I think the pills make me happier, and the real me has been taken over by prescription medication." I say, taking a forkful of delicious Mexican food.

"I guess you could think of it that way, or you could be positive."

"I guess I could."

"Whatever. I mean, think however you want."

"I will."

"So, what're you up to now?"

"I don't​ know, just... hanging out and doing homework."

"Cool. Well, let me know if you need any help."

"Liam?"

"Yeah."

"Do you ever miss being in school?"

"Yeah, honestly sometimes I do."

"You know, you probably didn't have to drop out."

"Yeah, I did. Lately I've barely been paying for all of these bills."

"But, when I'm gone, it's going to get easier, you know?"

"What? Morgan​, no...nothing is ever going to get easier."

"I'm an expense."

"You're worth it though."